Bars jokes
A man walks into a bar... and he never walks out.
Rachel won the lottery twice in two years. Her friend Jim called her every day asking for tips on winning, just the same. Then one day, simply to get rid of him, Rachel said, "Watch two martial arts movies, eat three pieces of hard beef jerky, and pick a fight at a bar."
Jim replied with a shocked look, "That's what I do after Mr. Tugman shakes my hand too long."
How do you know if a rapper's broke?
When he starts dropping cents instead of bars.
Why did the rapper go to the beach?
To drop some QUICKSAND BARS.
Why did the rapper go to space?
Because he wanted to drop some INTERGALACTIC BARS!
Did you hear about the blonde who walked into a bar?......... It hurt.
Helen Keller walked into a bar, a chair, and a table.
What kind of candy do astronauts eat in space?
Mars bars.
Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was assaulted.
Q: A guy walks into a bar, what does he say?
A: Ow!
Fineman, Einstein, and Schrodinger walked into a bar.
Fineman says, "It appears we're inside a joke."
Einstein says, "But only to an observer who saw us walk in simultaneously."
To which Schrodinger says, "If someone's looking through the window, I'm leaving!"
A man walks into a bar and sees a piece of steak on the ceiling.
The cashier says, "If you can grab it, your meal's free!"
The man then said, "Nah, the stakes are too high."
Did you hear about the bossy man at the bar? He ordered everyone around.
A priest, a rabbi, and a vicar walk into a bar. The barman says, “Is this some kind of joke?”
Where do terrorists go for a drink?
At the Allahu-ak Bar.
Two air vents walked into a bar.
The third one ducted.
Katsuki Bakugou went into a bar and said: "Where is that damn nerd?!?". Everyone was confused.
Bakugou says: "Tell me where Deku is or I'll kill you!" He kills them all because they all have green hair.
Why was the rapper afraid of elevators?
He was worried about getting stuck between the bars.
Why was the rapper so good at math?
Because he knew how to count his bars!
So, Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Wait, he can't.