A man walks into a bar, he gets a concussion.
After 2 months of recovering, the same man rushes head first into the bar. He goes into a coma.
After 2 years, he amazingly wakes up. He then gets in his car and drives into the bar at 70 mph. He dies. Did I mention he was suicidal?
A Horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
A man walks into a bar. Sits down and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating for and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said I celebrating my first blowjob. And nah if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth nothing will.
What's a aliens favorite computer key?
the space bar!
so heres the joke, A bear walks into a bar and sits down and then....then..........then................................zzzz
where does the keyboard go to dinner the space bar
A man walks into a bar and say I'm feeling depressed what do you have to cheer me up? The bartender replied: a shotgun
Helen Keller walked into a bar. Then a table. Then a chair.
two husbands walk into a bar the first one says my wife is an angel the second one says your lucky mine is still alive
A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.
“Super Power Beer,” he says.
“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”
Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage what so ever. He walks back into the bar.
“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof —and falls 15 stories to the ground. Splat. The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”
A skeleton walks into a bar. Orders a beer and a mop.
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it and she replied, "Its a bad habit"
A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells who the fuck fucked my wife. The bartender answers "Mate you ain't got enough bullets."
I was sitting in a bar one day and two really large women came in, talking in an interesting accent. So I said, "Cool accent, are you two ladies from Ireland?" One of them snarled at me, "It's Wales, Dumbo!" So I corrected myself, "My apologies, so are you two whales from Ireland?"
Two scientists walk into a bar. One says ̈I want h20” the other said ̈ I want h20 too ̈ The second scientist died.
Little johnny is a trucker, he stops at a bar. johnny sees a sign that says hamburgers for two dollers, cheeseburger for three dollars, handjob for ten dollars. he walks up to the bartender and whispers to her, "are you the one that gives the handjobs for ten dollars?" she replies "yes, thats me" johnny says "well can you wash your hands because i want a cheeseburger"
I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."
The Barman says, "We don't serve time travelers in here."
A time traveler walks into a bar.
2 men ran into a bar, you would have thought after the first one hit it the second one would have seen it
A piece of toast and a hard boiled egg walked into a bar. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve breakfast here."
