Bars Jokes

So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar- just kidding.

A blind guy walks into a bar.

What is the suns favorite chocolate bar? A Milky Way 😱

A blind man walked into a bar, a table and a chair

A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. “What are you drinking?” he asks the guy.

“Super Power Beer,” he says.

“Oh, yeah? I doubt it?”

Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, and lands with no damage what so ever. He walks back into the bar.

“Amazing!” the man says. “Let me have some!” The man grabs the beer. He drinks it, jumps off the roof —and falls 15 stories to the ground. Splat. The barman says. “You know, you’re a real idiot when you’re drunk, Superman.”

A Horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.

A guy sits at a bar in a skyscraper restaurant high above the city. He slams a shot of tequila, goes over to the window and jumps out.

The guy sitting next to him can’t believe what he just saw. He’s more surprised when, 10 minutes later, the same guy walks back into the bar and sits down next to him.

The astonished onlooker asks, “How did you do that? I just saw you jump out the window, and we’re hundreds of feet above the ground!”

The jumper responds by slurring, “Well, I don’t get it either. I slam a shot of tequila, and when I jump out the window, the tequila makes me slow down right before I hit the ground. Watch.” He takes a shot, goes to the window and jumps out.

The other guy runs to the window and watches as the guy falls to just above the sidewalk, slows down and lands softly on his feet. A few minutes later, the jumper walks back into the bar.

The other guy has to try it, too, so he orders a shot of tequila. He slams it and jumps out the window. As he reaches the bottom, he doesn’t slow down at all. SPLAT!

The first guy orders another shot of tequila. The bartender shakes his head. “You’re really an a**hole when you’re drunk, Superman.”

What's a aliens favorite computer key?

the space bar!

so heres the joke, A bear walks into a bar and sits down and then....then..........then................................zzzz

Why should you be friends with emo's? Because you get to scan their bar code for 20% off and when it expires they get rid of themselvs.

A man walks into a bar and say I'm feeling depressed what do you have to cheer me up? The bartender replied: a shotgun

where does the keyboard go to dinner the space bar

Helen Keller walked into a bar. Then a table. Then a chair.

two husbands walk into a bar the first one says my wife is an angel the second one says your lucky mine is still alive

A skeleton walks into a bar. Orders a beer and a mop.

A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it and she replied, "Its a bad habit"

A man walks into a bar with a 44. Magnum and yells who the fuck fucked my wife. The bartender answers "Mate you ain't got enough bullets."

Two scientists walk into a bar. One says ̈I want h20” the other said ̈ I want h20 too ̈ The second scientist died.

I was at the bar with a friend, and he said to me, "Veronica, I just stopped a rape." The bartender overheard him and had a puzzled look on his face, because he never moved. He then said, "I saw this girl walk into the bathroom, and I decided not to go."