Bars Jokes

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"

The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."

A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink, the bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk, the lady complained about this but then the bartender said, "just shut up and swallow"

2 scientists walk into a bar, the first one says "can I have a drink of H2O?" then the second says"can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies

A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast”

I tried to stick to one direction but then they started to shoot the gay bar....

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

i once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "theyre all dead hookers ince theyre in the trunk."

What is an astronaut's favorite part of a keyboard? The SPACE BAR!

This joke includes potentially sensitive content.

So Kobe Bryant walked into a bar just kidding he's dead and his fame went spiraling out of control.

Stephen Hawking walks into... er...rolls into a bar

guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop. person: guy: you walk into a bar. person: I'm a man guy:you meet a girl person: I'm a man guy:you and the girl go to a hotel\ person: I'm a man guy:you guys go on a bed person: I'm a man. guy:she whispers into your ear person:I'm a man

Hi guys, so today I have not thought of a joke, and I'm not really sure what to do so I thought I would do kinda a blog sort of thing so hope you enjoy and you don't have to read this!

So I woke up this morning and heard this weird noise and it was my dad building me a new gymnastics bar so I can have uneven bars which I am so excited about! And I am so glad that you guys have been nice and liking my jokes and stuff but also, make sure to comment below if you want to tell me what kind of jokes you want and what you want me to do and also, feel free to talk to me! Love y'all!!!

An Orphan walks into a bar and The bartender says "buddy you have to go home" the orphan replies " where is home"

Dog walks into a bar & say's I'm lookn for the man who shot my paw.

A pirate walks into a bar and has a ship's wheel in his pants. The bartender asks, "What's with the wheel in your pants?" The pirate replies, "Yarrr! It's drivin' me nuts!"

A priest a pedo and a rappest walk into a bar and thats just the first guy

So there are these 3 strings, they walk into a bar. People are giving them looks. The small chap is your typical thin cord. He walks to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. He replies, "Oii, your kind ain't welcomed here so take your drink, mates and fuck off." He goes back to his mates and says, "We'd better get outta here." "Nonsense." replies the mid guy, he's your typical string. Goes to the barman and same story. Finally the last guy, He's your typical rope. He burst out, "Fuck this!". He twits and ties himself whilst messing up his hair. He struts up to the barman and asks for a rum and coke. The barman does so and whilst he prepares the drink he opens with, "Say aren't you a string?" "No, I'm a frayed knot."