Bars jokes

Play

A pun, a play on words, and a limerick walk into a bar.

No joke!

Age restriction

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson and Jeffrey Epstein walk into a bar. But a few minutes later, they would walk out, because you have to be 21+. No room for those two.

Memes

Breakfast

A pancake and an egg walk into a bar. The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve breakfast.”

Warden

The warden is stronger than the ender dragon, but WHY IS IT NOT A BOSS?

(Doesn't have boss bar.)

Drink

A lady walked into a bar and ordered their special drink. The bartender then gave her a brown glass full of milk. The lady complained about this, but then the bartender said, "Just shut up and swallow!"

Neutron

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"

The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."

Bar

A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.

Scientist

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.

Bar

A gay couple walks into a Muslim bar. The tender flares up and says, “let me guess, a little blood on the rocks?”

Direction

I tried to stick to One Direction, but then they started to shoot the gay bar...

  • 0
  • Man

    I once asked a sketchy man at a bar for some relationship advice. He simply replied, "They're all dead hookers once they're in the trunk."

    Waitress

    So I was sitting at a bar, right? That fucking waitress came again, and guess what? She brought the wrong drinks again. So I send her away to get the correct drinks. And she came back again, with the wrong drinks!! Obviously, she was retarded. Anyways that's the story about how I met your mother.

  • 0
  • Death

    So Kobe Bryant walked into a bar, just kidding, he's dead and his fame went spiraling out of control.

  • 0
  • Man

    Guy: Say "I'm a man" every time I stop.

    Person:

    Guy: You walk into a bar.

    Person: I'm a man.

    Guy: You meet a girl.

    Person: I'm a man.

    Guy: You and the girl go to a hotel.

    Person: I'm a man.

    Guy: You guys go on a bed.

    Person: I'm a man.

    Guy: She whispers into your ear...

    Person: I'm a man!