How many gay guys can you fit on a bar stool? Four, just flip it over.
Bars Jokes
What is six inches, has nuts, and is hard?
A sinkers bar.
An Indian guy and an American guy in a wheelchair met in a bar for drinks.
The American guy got drunk and fell on the sidewalk.
The Indian guy got drunk and walked away.
A man walks into a bar, sits down, and asks the bartender for 12 shots of vodka. The bartender asks what the man is celebrating, and said he'll give one shot on the house. The man said, "I'm celebrating my first blowjob. And nah, if 12 shots doesn't get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will."
A pirate walked into a bar with his ship's steering wheel hanging off his pants. The bartender says, "Hey! What's with the steering wheel?" The pirate says, "I don't know but it's driving me nuts!"
An Irish-man walks out of a bar.
A blind man walks into a bar... and a table... and a chair... and the counter.
Where do keyboards go to have dinner?
The space bar!!!
A Roman walks into a bar.
He holds up two fingers and says, "Give me five beers."
How do you get 4 gay guys on a bar stool? You turn it upside down.
How do you get them back off again? You jerk them off.
I heard a joke about candy bars, but it wasn't very funny, so I just snickered.
I met this girl at a bar and started doing her from behind. Everything was great until she turned and said, "My turn!"
Little Johnny is a trucker. He stops at a bar. Johnny sees a sign that says, "Hamburgers for two dollars, cheeseburger for three dollars, handjob for ten dollars." He walks up to the bartender and whispers to her, "Are you the one that gives the handjobs for ten dollars?" She replies, "Yes, that's me." Johnny says, "Well, can you wash your hands because I want a cheeseburger?"
So, an Irish man is walking his poodle, and his buddy comes running up to him saying there’s a new pub in town and they’re giving out free pints.
So the man picks up his dog and runs like hell to the bar. But the bar owner stops him and says, "Sorry, you can’t go in." The Irish man says, "Why can’t I go in?" "Well, you have a dog, sir, and that sign over there says no dogs allowed. You’re going to have to leave him outside." Well, the Irish man thinks quick and says, "I’m blind; it’s a seeing eye dog." The owner says, "That’s ridiculous. A seeing eye dog would be a German shepherd or golden Labrador or something like that." The Irish man says, "Well, what kind of dog did they give me??"😂
Why was the emo kid sad? Because his bar code expired.
An infinite amount of mathematicians walked into a bar. The first ordered a pint, the second ordered a half pint, the third ordered a fourth-pint, etc. The Bartender eventually walked up and gave them two pints and said: "You mathematicians don't know your limits."
So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar - just kidding.
A man walks into a bar, he gets a concussion.
After 2 months of recovering, the same man rushes head first into the bar. He goes into a coma.
After 2 years, he amazingly wakes up. He then gets in his car and drives into the bar at 70 mph. He dies. Did I mention he was suicidal?
A grasshopper jumps into a bar.
The bartender says, "We've got a drink named after you."
The grasshopper says, "Seriously? Why would you name a drink Callum?"
What do you call it when a drunk cowgirl falls off her stool at the bar?
A hoedown.
