Bad jokes
What did one bear reply to his bad pun?
"Bear with me!"
What do you say to toast with bad shoes?
"Butter those."
Why doesn't Santa have kids? Because he only comes once a year.
Doctor: "I have good news and I have worse news." Patient: "Well, what's the bad news?" Doctor: "You have one day left to live." Patient: "What news could possibly be worse?" Doctor: "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday!"
Hands down, syndromes are bad.
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."
Monkey: What ya doing?
Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."
Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."
Yeah, not too bad at all, really.
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
He fingered A minor (get it, like the chord A minor)?
What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it.
Doctor: "I have good news and bad news."
Guy: "What's the bad news?"
Doc: "They replaced your toe with a piece of candy."
Guy: "Good news?"
Doc: "You now have tic tac toe."
Someone was crushing a bag of chips. I said, "Are you making edibles?"
Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?
Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.
This website sucks, it never cites the correct information.
A man wakes up from his operation, and the doctor says, "I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?"
The man says, "Bad," so the doctor says, "During the surgery, your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man."
The man says, "What’s the good then?" And the doctor says, "I’m picking her up at 7."
A black man walked into a bar. Another guy invited him over for a drink. They spent the rest of the night drinking and having a good time.
I'm really bad at giving directions, but don't take that the wrong way.
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.
The doctor says to the woman, "There was good and bad news." The woman says she wants the bad news first. The doctor says, "The bad news is the baby had red hair." Then he said, "The good news is, it is dead."