Bad jokes

Why did the bike fall over?

Because it was two tired.

Why can't dinosaurs clap?

Because they're dead.

I tried to catch fog, but I mist.

A fan gave another fan a blowjob.

Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.

They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.

Why is Trump bad with America? Because he made it scream.

your mom

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef.

I'm Gay.

What do you call a stupid turtle?

Retorted.

My life.

What's the hardest part about being a pedophile?

Fitting in.

Why are cats bad storytellers? Because they only have one tail.

Why are colds such bad robbers?

Because they're so easy to catch.

Why is Stephen Hawking a bad role model? -- He doesn't stand for anything.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

Apparently, Monica Lewinsky didn't vote for Hillary Clinton this election. She said the last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth.

Why are Americans so bad at Chess?

They're missing two towers.

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?

Dr. Dre.

What's brown and sticky?

A stick.