Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because fuck society, that's why!
Q: What do you call a man in a wheelchair?
A: Disabled.
How did the Asian couple name their child?
They dropped pots and pans down the stairs and listened to the noises.
My wife told me I was immature. I just told her to get out of my pillow fort.
I tried to catch fog, but I mist.
A fan gave another fan a blowjob.
Someone burgled my house the other day. It was terrible.
They ripped all of the front and back pages of my dictionaries. Things went from bad to worse.