what is the same with a duck and a bicycle, the handlebars - oh except for the duck
Why is America bad at chess? We already lost two towers.
A scarecrow got promoted because he was outstanding in his field.
Why did Frozone have a headache? He had brain freeze.
Friend: If you don't like my bad jokes, I will tell some stand up comedy.
Me: But you are not standing:)
Joke.
How do you punish Stevie Wonder for bad behavior?
You move all of the furniture around.
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
There was this man, and he forgot about his wife's birthday. She was very upset and said that her present should come as fast as 1-200 by tomorrow. When she woke up, she saw a present in the bathroom. It was a scale.
Q-Who’s the fastest readers in the world? A-the 911 victims, they when through 20 stories in seconds
Every moon has a silver lining.
What's the difference between a hooker and a drug dealer? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it.
Why did the chicken cross road? Because fuck society that's why
What do you call two Mexicans having sex? 50 Shades of Brown.
What do you call a steak that tastes bad?
A MISsteak.
Puns, that's how I roll.
I always talk to my taco before I eat it.
One time it said it was having a bad day and I asked what's wrong. He said I don't want to taco 'bout it!
Bad cows, bad cows, whatcha gonna moo?!
Why does Sour Cream have an expiration date?
