Bad jokes
Why is Stephen Hawking a bad husband?
Because he doesn't stand up for his wife.
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.
What's the difference between a baby and garlic bread? I feel bad when I drop garlic bread.
Me: Knock knock.
Some dude on the street: Who's there?
Me: Whowhowho.
Dude: Whowhowho who?
Whowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowho.
Alec is bad at League?
Jokes, Jarid is, haha!
A man goes for his annual checkup. Afterward, he's sitting in the doctor's office, and the doctor comes in with the results of his tests. The doctor says, "I have some bad news; you have cancer and Alzheimer's." The man replies, "Well, at least I don't have cancer."
I donated 100 dollars to a blind children’s charity. Too bad they won’t ever see a dime of it.
What did one bear reply to his bad pun?
"Bear with me!"
What do you say to toast with bad shoes?
"Butter those."
Why doesn't Santa have kids? Because he only comes once a year.
Doctor: "I have good news and I have worse news." Patient: "Well, what's the bad news?" Doctor: "You have one day left to live." Patient: "What news could possibly be worse?" Doctor: "I've been trying to contact you since yesterday!"
Hands down, syndromes are bad.
A nun walked into a bar with her clothes on inside out. The bartender asked her about it, and she replied, "It's a bad habit."
Monkey: What ya doing?
Other monkey: Just you know, "hanging around."
Bad joke, right? I just can't think of something amazing. It's like my brain is "hanging."
Yeah, not too bad at all, really.
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
Why did the guitar teacher get arrested?
He fingered A minor (get it, like the chord A minor)?
What has more brains than the Columbine students? The wall behind them, xD.
A man lost his toe when he dropped a knife on it.
Doctor: "I have good news and bad news."
Guy: "What's the bad news?"
Doc: "They replaced your toe with a piece of candy."
Guy: "Good news?"
Doc: "You now have tic tac toe."
Someone was crushing a bag of chips. I said, "Are you making edibles?"