Someone was crushing a bag of chips. I said, "Are you making edibles?"
Why are Mexicans so bad in the Olympics?
Because all the ones that can run, jump, and swim live in America.
A man wakes up from his operation, and the doctor says, "I have bad news and good news, what do you want to hear first?"
The man says, "Bad," so the doctor says, "During the surgery, your girlfriend decided to leave a message that she’s leaving you for another man."
The man says, "What’s the good then?" And the doctor says, "I’m picking her up at 7."
A black man walked into a bar. Another guy invited him over for a drink. They spent the rest of the night drinking and having a good time.
I'm really bad at giving directions, but don't take that the wrong way.
My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.
The doctor says to the woman, "There was good and bad news." The woman says she wants the bad news first. The doctor says, "The bad news is the baby had red hair." Then he said, "The good news is, it is dead."
Wanna hear something bad? A pile of dead babies.
Wanna hear something worse? The one at the bottom is still alive.
Wanna hear something worse than that? He has to eat his way out.
Wanna hear something that's the worst? He comes back for seconds.
Jake Paul
What do you call a bad "egg" meme?
Deep fried!
A man walking on his roof, carrying an axe. He drops it on someone below him and says, "Sorry, it was an axe-cident!"
What do you need in order to crash a train?
A bad track record.
What do you get when you cross a cold wind with a feather?
A brrrrrrrr-d!
Why does Adam go hockey, you might ask?
In my opinion, he shouldn't go because he is bad, but he needs the armor to protect himself from his own step-dad.
Déjà Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before.
What did one brain cell say to the other brain cell?
"I think I feel a connection!"
What did the comedian say when he walked into a bank?
"This is a stand-up."
They say Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer, too bad he doesn't cry.
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
I gave my friends some buttons.
Too bad he couldn't pull himself together.
