Back jokes
I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.
"Bugger off!" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.
A man sees a girl crying and asks her what's wrong.
The girl replied, "Everyone keeps making fun of me."
"You should tell your parents," I replied back.
The girl started crying even more. That's when I got confused and left the orphanage.
Today I donated my watch, phone, and $500 to a poor guy.
You wouldn’t believe the happiness I felt as he slid the pistol back into his pocket.
How many skinheads does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
10; 1 to do it and 9 to back him up.
What do you call a dead woman in the back of your car?
Idk, I just have a couple in the backseat.
Your hairline is so far back you look like Frankenstein.
Why don't orphans drink milk?
'Cause their parents have not came back with it yet.
If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?
Why don’t you get a book about how to commit suicide?
Because you won’t bring it back afterwards.
You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.
You are so ugly, when you went to a haunted house, you came back with a job application.
Why do Orphans like school?
Because they don't have a home to go back to afterwards.
Kid. What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?
Teacher. What?
Kid. Fruity pebbles with water.
Teacher. Why water?
Kid. Cause his dad never came back with the milk.
I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!
Yo mama so fat that when she went out in high heels, she came back in flip flops.
Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna..."
Vortex: "You'll do what?"
Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!"
*Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness*
Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."
Why is the sand always pissed off?
Because the sand never waves back!
Your hairline is so far back that when I wrote it on a chalkboard, it did not erase.
Your mom and dad are never coming back because dad is cumming for another kid.
"Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"
I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.