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Back jokes

If you execute someone in ventricular fibrillation in the electric chair, will they come back to life once and then die?

Why don’t you get a book about how to commit suicide?

Because you won’t bring it back afterwards.

You're so fat that when you went sunbathing at the beach, Greenpeace came along and pushed you back in the ocean.

You are so ugly, when you went to a haunted house, you came back with a job application.

Why do Orphans like school?

Because they don't have a home to go back to afterwards.

Kid. What is an orphan's favorite breakfast?

Teacher. What?

Kid. Fruity pebbles with water.

Teacher. Why water?

Kid. Cause his dad never came back with the milk.

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  • I'm back and wearing dead whites who are killing whites from Eastern Europe on me. Shout out my boy russia and Ukraine, they all are evil just like USA and China and the rest of the west!

    Blitz: "HOLD ON! You better move that pussy wagon right now, or I’m gonna..."

    Vortex: "You'll do what?"

    Blitz: "Or I'll... uh... uh, I- I'll call HR!"

    *Silence, then Verosika/me, Blitz, and Vortex bust into laughter. And then back to seriousness*

    Verosika/me: "Anyway, meet my new Hellhound... Vortex. Unlike you, he actually does his job well." *leaves and flips Blitz off* "Ta-ta fuck stain."

    "Stop telling these orphan jokes!! Maybe some people that read these are orphans!"

    I'll stop telling orphan jokes when their parents come back.

    High school crush: Why do you always look so sad?

    Me: My mom is dead, and my favorite grandma, and my uncle killed both of them, and now he's in jail.

    High school crush: Shit. Sorry about that.

    Me: And my crush hasn't asked me out.

    High school crush: Who is it?

    Me: You.

    Him: Goodbye (as he runs away and never comes back)

    Me: Fuck that.

    Your hairline is so far back I learned about it in history class.

    An orphan walks into a science lab. The lead scientist greets him and takes him to a DNA testing station. After some procedures, the results come back:

    "UNKNOWN"

    A little girl was sitting with some other kids. She thought to herself, "I want to have kids when I'm older, at least they’ll have a home, parents, and hopefully a dad that actually came back with the milk!" 🤣😂