Baby jokes
I ate a baby, it tasted like baby.
Why can't you ever fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday!
Why is it everyone wants to rub a pregnant woman's stomach but never the man's balls where the baby actually came from and the real ones that deserve the congratulations?
Recently my baby did this:
🖕🏼👶🏼🖕🏼 🎽 👖
What's the difference between a chocolate cake and a dead baby?
About 5000 calories.
Why is baby shampoo the best anal lube?
No more tears.
All normal-sized babies are delivered by stork.
Heavier babies are delivered by crane.
When Chinese babies are born, they should put "MADE FROM CHINA."
The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.
What did the baby cow say to the mommy cow when he saw a hamburger?
"Mommy, is that Uncle Joe?"
Why shouldn’t you do drugs? Weedle make you high.
How can Pikachu make a baby laugh? By playing pika-boo!
Baby > commits start breathing.
Mom > commits abort.
Baby > commits ohshit.exe
Oh baby, there's about to be 7 planets because I'm gonna destroy Uranus.
What’s the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari? I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Why was the baby ant confused?
Because its uncles were all aunts!
What’s green and orange and sits at the bottom of the swimming pool?
A baby with burst armbands.
My sister said that I am a baby, so I said, "Waa, waa."
I congratulated my friend on losing all that baby weight. She started crying and told me I should make them for miscarriage like that......
"Herishy, me lava u, why did u leave mee? Wahh wahh baby sharka, doodle do to to babyyy cutie pie..."
Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?
A: A clothes hanger.