Baby jokes
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.
What is 6 inches long and makes women scream? Stillbirth...
How do you stop a baby from drowning?
Take your foot off its head.
Say, Aiden, are you and Gwen dating? Oooo, you and her sitting in a tree, K.I.S.S.I.N.G., then comes the romance, then comes engagement, then comes the wedding, and then the baby! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Then comes cheating and arguments, and then D.I.V.O.R.C.E.!!!!!!!!!!!!
Aiden + Gwen = Husband and wife! HAHAHAHAHAHA!
Girlfriend and boyfriend!!!!!!!!
What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?
"Baby, now we got bad blood."
What is the difference between a baby and a canoe?
I would never put a canoe in my garage.
I fucked your mom, that's why I've been paying your life support since you were born.
Q. What do you call a baby with anencephaly? A. Anything you want, it's not like it's gonna answer you.
What do you call a baby potato?
Small fry!
Baby Shark be like, "It's the END," bruh, they dead.
Why did the United Nations stop the French government from using the guillotine in public?
Because the French government was using the guillotine on newborn babies for circumcision.
Why did the shark fisherman stop at the abortion clinic?
Because dead babies make the best chum! :)
What did the father bullet say to the baby bullet when he killed a bull by hitting it in the eye: "Bull's eye!"
My sister asked me, "Brother, how do babies come into the world?" Then my mom said, "Be quiet and fuck your brother, darling."
Is that the answer?
I approached her in the checkout line and said, "Yo baby wassup?"
Q: How do you make a fire?
A: Oil and dead babies.
What did the substrate say to the active site?
"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."
How did Mary get pregnant with baby Jesus?
God fucked her.
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.