"You are stupid. You can’t even ride a baby pony!"
What's the best part of having sex with a baby?
Deep throat and anal at the same time.
What does Adam look like?
The fat ginger baby of Boss Baby.
Yo mama so fat, COW!
What's the difference between a baby and a salad? I'm not in jail for tossing a salad.
Why cant u ever fool an aborted baby? Because it wasnt born yesterday
Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?
A: A clothes hanger.
I approached her in the checkout line and said, "Yo baby wassup?"
Mommy, why is my name Brick???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a brick dropped on your head.
Mommy, why is my name Rose???
Mom: When you were a little baby, a rose petal dropped on your head.
Brick walks in, "Blagudnunag."
Why are lamps so scared? Because someone might throw them away.
What’s the difference between a baby and a baked potato?
About 140 calories.
Don’t have sex. Because you will get pregnant. And die.
What happens when you bring a paedophile to a baby's birthday party?
You will have even more birthday parties to go to.
What’s the difference between a 5.7l v8 and a dead baby?
If you lift the hood on my car, you won’t find a 5.7l v8.
What cries, is red, and is a pokey boi?
The baby you just feed nails to.
Do you know how babies are made? The boy puts his penis in the girl's butt and goes up and down for ten minutes. Then the girl takes a pregnancy test, and if it says no, then you keep doing it until she is pregnant.
The boy will lick the girl down there, and she will put his penis in her mouth and suck it. Then he will spit on his hand and rub it on her boobs and lick/suck them.
Jump in the Cadillac. (Girl, let's put some miles on it.) Anything you want. (Just to put a smile on it.) You deserve it, baby, you deserve it all, And I'm gonna give it to you. Gold jewelry shining so bright, Strawberry champagne on ice, Lucky for you, that's what I like, that's what I like. Lucky for you, that's what I like, that's what I like.
-Tommyinnit
One time a girl was telling her boyfriend if she could have sex with him for just a little bit, and he said sure, so she just started having sex. She asked him if they could have a baby, but he said sure and started going hard. She told him she was joking, but he wouldn't get off. So she did the 69, and months later, she died, and he said he thinks he killed her with sex.
Jack and Jill went up to an abandoned house.
Jack drank too much and unzipped his fly. Jack said, "You know you wanna." Jill said, "No." So Jack locked both of them in the house and put a gag in Jill's mouth, tied her to a bed. He ripped off her dress and underwear. He took off his pants and his underwear too, then put on a condom. He then put a pill in her mouth and made her swallow. One minute later she was asleep. He took off her gag and mounted himself on her, then stuck his "candystick" in her mouth, next her fanny. Then his condom broke, but he was too drunk to notice. Nine months later a baby's born and Jack's in jail as the father.
How do you stop a baby from crying?
Throw a brick in its mouth.
