15+ Hanger Jokes

What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?

They both leave you hanging.

What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?

Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.

I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying that if I could go back in time, I'd give your mom a coat hanger.

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

Why aren't there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.

Well, you know what they say about cliffhangers...

What does a depressed person and a jacket have in common?

They’re both hanging in the closet.

What's the difference between a coat hanger and an emo?

Nothing, they both hang.

Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?

The anti-abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.

What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?

You fix both with a coat hanger.

You don't usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days.

But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: "Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!"