Hanger jokes

What's a similarity between a cliff hanger and nooses?

They both leave you hanging.

What's worse than locking your keys in the car in front of an abortion clinic?

Having to go back inside and ask to borrow a hanger.

I'm not saying I hate you. I'm just saying that if I could go back in time, I'd give your mom a coat hanger.

I told my mom to get rope for a project, and when she got home, I got the good old coat hanger out and hung myself up.

Why aren't there any closets in southern churches? Closets have coat hangers.

Well, you know what they say about cliffhangers...

What does a depressed person and a jacket have in common?

They’re both hanging in the closet.

What's the difference between a coat hanger and an emo?

Nothing, they both hang.

Where is the worst place to lock your keys in your car?

The anti-abortion clinic because you have to go back in and ask for a coat hanger.

What's something similar between a clogged pipe and a pregnant woman?

You fix both with a coat hanger.

You don't usually see strap-hangers carrying newspapers these days.

But one guy with the New York Times is seen getting on a crowded F Train. He notices a single seat not taken. Suspicious, he gets closer and sniffs it out. The seat is discolored but dry. Throwing caution to the winds, he removes a section from the paper and sets it down to buffer the spot from his behind. He sits down, stretches his feet and yells out: "Try sitting on your smartphones, suckers!"

What's something the same about a depressed kid and a hanger? They both like to hang.

Did you know that your son has been deeper inside of your wife than you have...unless you put the coat hanger up there?

I was watching a TV show where a guy was hanging off a cliff, then the series ended... I guess you can say that they left that guy on a cliffhanger!

Q: How do you deliver an autistic baby?

A: A clothes hanger.

What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?

Dodge the coat hanger!

What is an unborn baby's Olympic sport?

Dodge the coat hanger.

What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?

Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.

Pierre Poilievre has lost the government position he had for 20 years.

Bet he wishes his mom HAD used that coat hanger.

I wanna be a Christmas decoration cause they always do be hanging.

I got detention yesterday because I told the emo kid to "Hang in there."

What did the rope say to me?

"Hey there man, you wanna hang later?"

What do you call a man off the ground?

Hanged.