Baby jokes
I'm just a prom night dumpster baby I got no mam or dad. Prom night dumpster baby My story isn't long, but boy, it's awfully sad. Although I came from a hole (Although I came from a hole) I'm singin' right from the soul (I'm singin' right from the soul)
My fanny needs a blanket And somebody to spank it I miss my mam But she's at the prom So I'm prom night dumpster baby Prom night dumpster baby
And I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll) Hahaha, I'm takin' a stroll (He's taking a stroll)
What do you call a baby Mexican? A paragraph because they aren’t a full essay.
Mom, how were hoomans made? Son, it’s because Adam and Eve were brought down by God and made babies!
Dad, how were hoomans made? Son, us humans evolved from monkeys!
Mom, Dad said hoomans were evolved from monkeys, is that true? Oh son, (ruffles smol man’s hair) your dad was telling you his side of the family, and I was telling my side :)
What's the difference between having sex with my girlfriend and a baby?
I don't have a girlfriend.
How do you put a baby alien to sleep?
You rocket. 🚀🚀🚀
new years be like in my house
I'm so jealous of babies with anencephaly.
They can eat all the ice cream they want and never get brain freezes.
There’s so many protests. Every time I see "my body, my choice," I can’t tell if we’re protesting the masks or trying to kill babies.
The doctor says, "Your wife is pregnant." The man says that he used a condom and the doctor says, "Yeah, but I didn't."
What do you call a baby potato?
Small fry!
Would you rather have ten babies in one trash can or one baby in ten trash cans?
Me: Hi Jacob!
Jacob: Hi.
Me: Your parents went to jail for littering when you were born!
Jacob: GOO GOO GAH GAH
A man had 10 dead and bloody babies in the middle of his living room. The police suddenly knocked on his door. What is the hardest thing to hide?
- A boner.
What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?
"Baby, now we got bad blood."
Your mama is so fat that she doesn't get crushed by cars, she crushes cars and babies in strollers on the sidewalk when she falls and doesn't see any remains, so there is no evidence.
Yo mama is so huge, when she was born everyone died.
Oh baby, there's about to be 7 planets because I'm gonna destroy Uranus.
What’s red and very rare?
A baby in a blender.
What sits in the corner and gets smaller and smaller? A baby with a potato peeler.
How can you tell that a woman cannot fit through a vent because she got pregnant from a baby elephant? Ain't no telling who's in better shape, the elephant or the woman. I guess it's probably Weight Watchers.
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.