Baby jokes
What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?
A baby with a javelin in its head!
How many dead babies does it take to paint my room?
It depends how many bullets you have.
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
What's worse than waking up with a dead baby next to you?
Realizing you were so drunk that you made love to it the night before...
What's the difference between a baby and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when I put my meat in it.
Memes
merca baby🇺🇲
Why can't orphans play baseball? Because they don't know where home is...
Why did the Asian parents have an Asian baby?
Two wongs don't make a white.
Once upon a time, three babies were born in 2015. She was always crying for 2015. He loves her birth date. 🤗😈🤗🤕🤒no🤗🤑😱😎🙌🙏🙈🙉🙊
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
Q: What is the difference between a pizza and a baby?
A: The pizza does not scream when you put it in the oven.
What do you call a baby with red curry fried hair?
A baby using a potato peeler and a comb.
What’s the difference between a Ferrari and a sack of dead babies?
I don’t have a Ferrari in my garage.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don't cry, baby!
What's the difference between limbs of babies and a dick?
I've never sucked on dicks.
Hey, I broke up with your girl.
-Me: What? Why?
Wait, what?
-Me: You f**ked her, so it's your baby.
I always felt like a man trapped in a woman's body. But then I was born.
But in my defense, I was young then, and I had a womb without a view.
What do you call a baby with red on it?
A baby in a microwave.
What's yellow and blue and found at the bottom of a pool? A baby with slashed floaties.
Two mums hook up!
Their daughter comes in the room and says, "Which one's the baby daddy?"
The "mum" points to the woman who was actually a man!
You know a baby bottle looks kinda like a penis... Also sausage and hotdogs too.