Baby jokes
So you see all these Baby Yoda memes when you go online, But you have never really seen the show with him.
He is just SOOOO CUTE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
How do you get 50 babies into a car?
You blend them.
When you were born your mother said, "Oh, what a treasure!" Your father said, "Yeah, let’s go bury it."
Some babies may be delivered via stork, but some bigger babies are gonna need a crane.
What did the mom say to the baby?
What did the substrate say to the active site?
"C'mon baby, we fit together, open my door lock to f**kin' key."
Why did you say hi? Babies don't talk.
"Um, honey, I'm glad you're done, but um, WHO KICKED OUR BABY'S ASS?! I'M PRETTY SURE FACES DON'T BEND THAT WAY!!"
How do terrorists feed their babies?
"Here comes the aeroplane!"
What's small and can't turn around in a hallway?
A baby with a javelin in its head!
The bears came home. Daddy bear said, "Who's been eating my porridge?" said, "Who's been in my porch?" Baby bear said, "Never mind about the porridge, who knocked the telly?"
Louie Fennell.
Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.
"Knuckle babies" don't eat.
Q: What is a baby's favorite reptile?
A: A rattlesnake.
"I think my baby is so similar to me!"
"True, but the most important thing is that he is healthy!"
Q. Who do you call when a baby with anencephaly is born? A. The funeral home.
Q. What do you call a baby with anencephaly? A. Anything you want, it's not like it's gonna answer you.
How many dead babies does it take to paint my room?
It depends how many bullets you have.
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
What's worse than waking up with a dead baby next to you?
Realizing you were so drunk that you made love to it the night before...