Baby jokes
Do you know how babies are made? The boy puts his penis in the girl's butt and goes up and down for ten minutes. Then the girl takes a pregnancy test, and if it says no, then you keep doing it until she is pregnant.
The boy will lick the girl down there, and she will put his penis in her mouth and suck it. Then he will spit on his hand and rub it on her boobs and lick/suck them.
Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.
"What did the mama tomato say to the baby tomato? Catch up!"
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They chuck a pan down the stairs.
I'm going to do a song that's called "Falling" by Trevor Daniel... so here it goes.
My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything Talk to me, I need to hear you need me like I need ya Fall for me, I wanna know you feel how I feel for you, love Before you, baby, I was numb, drowned out pain by pouring up Speeding fast on the run, never want to get caught up Now you the one that I'm calling Swore that I'd never fall again, don't think I'm just talking I think I might go all in, no exceptions, girl, I need ya Think I'm out of my mind, 'cause I can't get enough Only one that I give my time, 'cause I got eyes for ya Might make an exception for ya, 'cause I been feeling ya Think I might be out of my mind, I think that you're the one My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything My last made me feel like I would never try again But when I saw you, I felt something I never felt Come closer, I'll give you all my love If you treat me right, baby, I'll give you everything I'll never give my all again 'Cause I'm sick of falling down When I open up and give my trust They find a way to break it down Tear me up inside, and you break me down.
What is the difference between a refrigerator and a baby?
The refrigerator doesn't cry when I put my meat in it.
What's the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is 10 babies in a trash can. Morbid humor is 1 baby in 10 trash cans.
What does a paedophile say when he gets to heaven?
A: Where's the holy baby?
Welcome to Arby's, where your babies become our gravy!
What's harder than nailing a dead baby to a tree?
My dick while I'm doing it.
Man: "I know how to please a woman." Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you." Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "Your hair color is fabulous." Woman: "Thank you. It's on aisle three at the corner drug store."
Man: "You look like a dream." Woman: "Go back to sleep."
Man: "I can tell that you want me." Woman: "Yes, I want you to leave."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?" Woman: "Do not enter. -OR- Stop."
Man: "Your body is like a temple." Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "Is this seat empty?" Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "What's it like being the most beautiful girl in the bar?" Woman: "I hate you."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Why was the Ethiopian baby crying?
It was having a mid-life crisis.
What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?
Joshua Metcalfe
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
Q: What did Britney say to Kevin when they were in bed?
A: "Hit me baby one more time."
What is worse than ten dead babies nailed to a tree? One dead baby nailed to ten trees.
What's the difference between a baby and a salad?
I'm not in jail for tossing a salad.
How to make white ice cream red... blend a baby into it!
Yo mama so old that her breastmilk was powdered. You breastfeed like this 🌬💨.