Baby Jokes

What bounces up and down at 100 miles per hour

A baby tied to the back of a pick up truck

Why did the failed abortion climb up the woman’s leg?

It was homesick.

One day leaf asks mom, “mom, why am I named leaf?” Mom says “because when you were a baby a leaf fell on your head.” The next day feather asks mom “ mommy, why am I named feather?” Mom says “ when your were a baby a feather fell on your head.” The next day brick asks mom “rhsisvrkanx” mom says, shut up brick!

I have a better method of abortion than currently used. It's like a regular one, except you can get free food out of it...we're about to give baby-back ribs a whole new meaning.

How do you quiet a baby down?

Make baby back ribs for dinner

what is scarier then a pile of dead babies? the bottom one ate it's way out

Travis has baby hands

What's the difference between a truck full of babies and a truck full of bowling balls? You can only unload one of them with a pitch fork.

How do you stop a baby from drowning, Take your foot off it's head.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to catch some pale of water Jack come down and then Jill came tumbling after so they had a baby...

what is red white and blue and makes me proud to live in this country? the baby in the corner I choked, stabbed, and then came on.

I can't decide which side to take on abortion; on one hand it kills babies and on the other it gives women a choice ...

Why was the baby Dinosaur an orphan?

His family was blown up by meteors

How are babies and watermelons similar?

They are both fun to smash open with a sledgehammer and eat the insides

My son

Funny things or weird things to say to someone. Hey...have you kissed a girl before? Weird things to say to someone. Its hard to find friends that 91% Funny 100%Nice and 100,0000 % good-looking. Funny! Weird name to call a girl: Sweetums. Baby-Bugga-Boo.

Fuzzkins. Lumpy. Nilly. Ninty Minty. and SEXY WITCH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! Gross thats why I am not getting a bf!