Baby jokes
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn?
What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|
Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?
A: Eggs.
I am a dead baby. -end joke-
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.
What is small, red, and sitting in the corner?
A baby playing with a scalpel.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
What's the difference between a baby and a Dorito?
One is a tasty snack, the other is a Dorito.
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
"Stupid ass baby."
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.
Why don’t babies pollinate flowers?
God chose Plan B.
What is red, white, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
How to make a baby make funny faces?
Put it feet first in a blender.
A guy gives labor to a baby girl and a boy twins. The doctor said but the lady was like,
"Ugh, why do I need my husband to be in labor and I want a girl, not a boy, just a girl!"
The lady passed out 😵 and then found out she was in a coma. The man who was in labor died. The two babies got a nanny, an evil one. The nanny killed the babies on their first birthday.
What does a dead baby look like?
I don't know, I close my eyes when I masturbate.
I gotta song for Hawaii, baby, you light up my world like nobody else.
Kid's uncle: "Your mum said you can have your friends round tonight! But I'm gonna have to baby sit today."
Kid: "OK THANK YOU."
(AT BED TIME)
Kid: "Please may you stop touching my leg BEN!"
Ben: "I'm not."
(Turns light on) Kid: "UNCLEEEEE STOP SPILLING MILK OVER ME!!!"
How do you fit 15 babies into a shoe box?
A blender.
How do you get them out of the shoe box? A straw.