Baby jokes
Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!
How many babies does it take to paint wheels red?
It depends on your speed.
So, I was watching YouTube, and then my friend says, "Those videos never get old." I replied, "Just like a Make-A-Wish kid." After I said that, he shot me in the head and said, "And now neither do you." Now I’m in Heaven, and God says to me, "Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies," and I said, "Are there summer women?" Now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero after he killed Hitler.
What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.
When a baby was born to a slave, did the slave owners hang a "Bred in Captivity" sign above the crib?
Babys Horenet's first word
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.
Would you rather have ten babies in one trash can or one baby in ten trash cans?
Q. What's red and pink and spins around really fast? A. A baby in a blender.
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
What did the farmer say to the doll?
You death baby doll.
They are delicious.
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
What did the doctor say to the mother after delivering the baby? Sorry.
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...
Give me baby girl names for a pregnant YouTuber.
Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"