Baby jokes

Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!

So, I was watching YouTube, and then my friend says, "Those videos never get old." I replied, "Just like a Make-A-Wish kid." After I said that, he shot me in the head and said, "And now neither do you." Now I’m in Heaven, and God says to me, "Welcome to Paradise where it is summer days, clear skies," and I said, "Are there summer women?" Now here I am in Hell with my buddy Hitler. I believe he’s a hero after he killed Hitler.

What's worse than a bag of dead babies? One at the bottom is still wriggling.

If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.

Would you rather have ten babies in one trash can or one baby in ten trash cans?

Daveon says, "Oh wow, she's so beautiful!" The doctor then says, "Yes, but sadly, your wife didn't make it..." Daveon then states, "Give me the one my wife made then!"

What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?

A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.

What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.

I am a dead baby. -end joke-

"Stupid ass baby."

A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.

What did the doctor say to the mother after delivering the baby? Sorry.

What is small, red, and sitting in the corner?

A baby playing with a scalpel.

What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?

The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.

How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?

With a blender.

When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...

Give me baby girl names for a pregnant YouTuber.

Wife: “I want another baby.”

Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”

What did the farmer say to the doll?

You death baby doll.

They are delicious.