Baby jokes
Q. What's the difference between an abortion clinic and a nursery? A. The abortion clinic won't let you take the baby home.
Q. What's red and pink and spins around really fast? A. A baby in a blender.
If Pete and Chasten Buttigieg had a baby, it would be a turd covered in semen.
When a baby was born to a slave, did the slave owners hang a "Bred in Captivity" sign above the crib?
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.
My lil bro <3
What's the difference between a salad and a baby? People don't usually scream when you shake around a salad.
What did the farmer say to the doll?
You death baby doll.
What did the priest say during the christening?
"So anyway, I started blasting!"
They are delicious.
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|
What did the doctor say to the mother after delivering the baby? Sorry.
What is small, red, and sitting in the corner?
A baby playing with a scalpel.
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
Give me baby girl names for a pregnant YouTuber.
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn?
Wife: “I want another baby.”
Husband: “That’s a relief, I also really don’t like this one!”