Baby jokes
What did the blonde say when someone says, "Your baby is so cute?"
"For the last time, I don't want to sign up my child for Tindergarten just yet!"
They are delicious.
I try and try every day, but 5 keep coming out. There's so money at this point my walls are built of babies.
What did the priest say during the christening?
"So anyway, I started blasting!"
Give me baby girl names for a pregnant YouTuber.
Memes
When babies kick their mother, it's okay, but when I do it, it's a crime...
Baby: Stroll?
Me: *puts baby in stroller* WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL!
Baby: *happily screams*
Stroller: *front wheels break off*
Me: WE'RE GOING ON A STROLL WITH NO FRONT WHEELS!
Baby: Oka- CRASH!
What did the baby corn say to the mama corn? Where's popcorn?
Yep, if someone says to you, "I can't roast trash," say, "Well, some trash is used for recycling, and that is why you have a baby brother!"
What's the difference between a hundred decapitated babies and a Ferrari?
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage :|
How do you fit a hundred babies into a small bucket?
With a blender.
I am a dead baby. -end joke-
"Stupid ass baby."
Q: If cats have cat babies, dogs have dog babies, and tigers have tiger babies, what do fish have?
A: Eggs.
A baby is like another step. You use it just the same as the other steps.
What's the difference between a baby and a Dorito?
One is a tasty snack, the other is a Dorito.
What's the difference between an onion and a dead baby?
The baby doesn't cry when you chop it.
What is small, red, and sitting in the corner?
A baby playing with a scalpel.
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
What's the difference between a baby and a bowling ball?
A bowling ball doesn't cry when you put your fingers in it.