Baby jokes
Where's a cannibal's favorite place to eat?
Chili's, because they got them baby back ribs.
What is the state of California best for? Screwing everything up!
What is the state of Florida for? Rednecks for days!
What is the state of Texas for? Guns!
What is the state of Utah for? Mormons and Pligs baby! (I hate all of the religious stuff!)
What is the state of Idaho for? Calling other people Ho's, mostly!
What is the state of Nevada for? Ever heard of gambling?
What is the state of Delaware for? Literally anything that isn't exciting!
What is the state of New York for? In my state of mind, it's a song! (If you don't get this one, look up the song of New York State of Mind)
I went to a butcher house with my little cousin and saw a baby pig and told her, "Look, it's Pepa Pig!"
She started crying.
How do Chinese people name their babies?
They chuck a pan down the stairs.
Baby (DYM 108).
What's the difference between a million dollars and a million dead babies?
I don't have a million dollars laying around my house.
Why can't you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn't born yesterday.
Why didn't the wife want sex?
Because they were having too many babies.
I watched the series of "Unfortunate Events" 4 times, all the shows 4 times. I am crying. I am trying to finish the rest, then my brother comes in and says it is PG (Parental Guidance). After that, my brother called me a baby, then he pushed me off my bed. 😭
What is the difference between Sir Isaac Newton and the baby I just stabbed?
Sir Isaac Newton died a virgin.
A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a coma. After 6 months, she woke up. She asked the doctor, "How's the baby?"
"You had twins," the doctor replied. "Your brother named them."
The woman said, "Oh no, not my brother! What did he call them?"
The doctor said, "He called the girl Denise."
"What about the boy?" the woman asked.
The doctor said, "Denephew."
Moto Moto, stop giving the baby your d*ck!
Yo mama so fat, cow!
I fucked your mom, that's why I've been paying your life support since you were born.
Yo mama is so nonverbal that she’s Boss Baby.
da baby
Jason Kenney has never worried about putting food on the table for his kids.
"Knuckle babies" don't eat.
How do you make a baby survive a fall of over 300 metres?
I don't know. I've dropped dozens off the Empire State Building and none have lived.
What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? You can't peanut butter your dick up a dead baby's ass.
What's the difference between a baby and a freezer?
The freezer doesn't scream when I put my meat in it.