An American mother has 3 children. The first child asked his mum: "Why is my sister called Crazy Horse and my brother Rushing Water?"
Mum: "Because those were the first thing I saw after i gave birth to them. Why are you asking all these questions, two dogs fucking?"
What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? I don’t know. I was too busy wanking.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.
The first priest asks the second, "How long do we keep the babies in the holy water?" The priest replies, "No clue... I close my eyes when I masturbate!"
Why is Johnson’s baby shampoo the best lubricant for anal sex?
- No more tears.
What do dead babies and fruit have in common? Both can become smoothies with the help of a blender!
What's the difference between an orphan and a baby?
The orphan gets back up.
If a baby dies in the womb, is it considered suicide?
What's brown and in a baby's diaper?
Michael Jackson's hand.
A father is talking to his three kids.
Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?
Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.
Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?
Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!
Dad: Oh hey, Brick.
What is a failed abortion? Annabelle.
What's the difference between a dead baby in my trash can and a discarded sex toy?
...
I'm still trying to think of an answer.
Why did Mozart kill all his chickens?
Because when he asked them who the best composer was, they all said, "Bach, Bach, Bach!"
Butthole.
Why was the baby ant confused?
Because its uncles were all aunts!
Did you know the Bible has a passage about killing babies by smashing them against rocks?
That's probably because microwaves hadn't been invented yet.
Jack and Jill went up the hill, had some fun, now they have 4 babies.
Your forehead is so big that babies can use it as a full-sized football pitch!
How many babies does it take to paint wheels red?
It depends on your speed.
How do Asians name their babies?
They throw pots and pans around.
"Ching, Chang, Clang!"
