Baby jokes
Two kids walked into a bar. They were covered with blood. The bartender asked what happened.
The youngest said, "Well, we were trying to paint our basement, but we threw the babies too hard!"
A momma cow and three baby calves are on a farm. The first baby calf asks the momma cow, "Mom, why is my name Rose?"
The mom responded, "Well, you see, when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head."
The second one asks her, "Then why is my name Daisy?"
The mom chuckled and simply replied with, "When you were born, Daisy petals fell on your head."
The last one said, "DUH DUR SURH!"
The mom said, "SHUT UP, CINDER BLOCK!"
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.
What did mommy spider say to baby spider?
You spend too much time on the web.
What do you call a premature Chinese baby birth? Wong Tai-Ming.
just follow me please one more im at 50
Q. What's the difference between a baby and a bale of straw?
A. I got arrested last time I speared a baby with a pitchfork.
What do you call gun ammunition made out of human babies?
Project-childs.
(Projectiles)
What's the same thing between a baby and a grenade?
They both make a sound when thrown.
What did the south tower say to the baby north tower?
"Here comes the airplane!"
Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
What's the difference between three dead babies and a Ferrari?
I don't own a Ferrari.
What time do babies get dirty?
Playtime.
What kind of ankle are you? A broken ankle.
You should always wash your sex toys. That's why priests baptize babies.
How do planets have a baby?
They have spasex.
Why can’t baby ducks lay eggs? Because their quacks are too small.
So I left my mom with my baby, and I was terrified when I came back; the wheelchair was in the water.
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
Person: You suck!
Me: Tell that to your mom, and she’ll say the same thing, honey. 😎
What's a little white dot on a priest's dick? A baby tooth.