What’s red and very rare?
A baby in a blender.
What did the Chinese girl say when she had a baby?
"Sum ting wong."
Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.
What was one phrase Michael Jackson said to a boy in his bed? Baby, be mine.
(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)
Baby: Wait for me!
(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)
(He squishes the child.)
Father: Ketchup!
POV: Someone stole Michael Jackson's baby: "He he stole my bab(y), he he."
What’s the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
Dogs only lick peanut butter off private parts.
"Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.... All the king's horses and all the king's men, COULDN'T PUT HUMPTY TOGETHER AGAIN."
"Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all
Rock-a-bye, baby on the treetop when the wind blows the cradle will rock
when the bough breaks the cradle will fall and down will come baby cradle and all"
Anyone else finding the hidden horror in these?
I'm torn on the issue of abortion. I'm pro-abortion because it kills babies, but I'm against abortion because it gives women a choice.
All normal-sized babies are delivered by stork.
Heavier babies are delivered by crane.
Pregnant teen: I'm pregnant, my mum's gonna kill me.
Unborn baby: My mum's gonna kill me.
What's the difference between a yellow line and a baby?
You can't run over a yellow line.
How do Chinese people name their baby? They throw pots down the stairs: bing bong ching chong.