Baby jokes

Abortion is a really touchy subject for me. On one hand, there's dead babies! But on the other hand, women get a choice.

How many babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

More than 10, since my basement's still dark.

What do babies and grenades have in common? They both make noise when you throw them.

How is abortion different from rape? Babies never consent to it.

What is worse than 16 babies in 16 dumpsters? One baby in 16 dumpsters.

What's worse than 1000 dead babies hanging off a tree?

1 dead baby hanging off 1000 trees.

How do you make a dead baby float?

1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.

A women's knitters group is having a meeting, and they are all pregnant. They all talk about their pregnancies.

One woman says, "I'm taking vitamin C so my baby has a healthy immune system."

Another knitter says, "I'm taking folic acid to help my baby's brain."

Finally, one woman says, "I'm taking Thalidomide!"

All the women turn to her and say, "Thalidomide! Don't you know your baby could be born without arms?"

The woman shrugs her shoulders and says, "I don't know how to knit arms."

Little Johnny ran into the kitchen and asked his mother, "Mom, can little girls have babies?" His mom answered, "Of course not." A few minutes later, his mom heard him shout to his friend, "It's okay, we can keep playing!"

How do Chinese people name their baby? They throw pots down the stairs: bing bong ching chong.

My opinion on abortion is very divided. Like, on the one hand, I like the idea of killing babies, but I'm not really into this thing about women being able to make choices.

What’s red and very rare?

A baby in a blender.

If a stork brings white babies, and a blackbird black babies, what bird brings no babies?

A swallow.

What's the difference between a Corvette and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

Guess what? I have a baby in ten trashcans.

What’s someone with AIDS' favorite Taylor Swift song?

"Baby, now we got bad blood."

(There was a mommy tomato, a daddy tomato, and a baby tomato.)

Baby: Wait for me!

(Father tomato walks back toward the baby.)

(He squishes the child.)

Father: Ketchup!

Welcome to Arby's, where your babies become our gravy!

The most powerful thing in the world is babies. This is because they cry and get what every they want.

How do terrorists feed their babies?

Here comes the airplane...

HERE COMES THE SECOND ONE 👹