Away jokes
My crush's best friend came up to me and called me my crush's dog 🐕, so then I say, "Wow, you're an ass for calling me a bitch." He then looks at me wide-eyed, and I just walk away.
"Being broke is a disease, stay the fuck away from me."
Why did the penis go fly?
Because a girl sucked it too hard, it went flying away.
What did the orphan get for Christmas? Nothing, because his parents ran away.
Double whammy. Orphan jokes are like a kid with cancer; it never gets old. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣👌👌👌👌👌
Don’t criticize someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes.
So, when you criticize them, they won’t be able to hear you from that far away. Plus, you’ll have their shoes.
I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away!
Guess how I got away from my mom saying I can't play Fortnite? I took my stuff and I ran to Iran.
A homeless kid walked up to another kid and said, "I have what you don't." He said, "(Parents)."
And the kid said, "Your right, I do have parents," and walked away.
One day, during lunch, a Spanish kid came up to my other friend and asked her questions in Spanish, and when she was about to say something, I popped out and said, “GO AWAY OR I WILL SUE YOU WITH BRIANNA’S SEVEN/7 LAWYERS!!!!(AKA, her seven/7 shoes.)”
Today was like every other day. It was so terribly long and so terribly dreary. I fear these feelings will never end. I’ll always feel so dark, feel so hopeless. Sometimes all I want is for it to end. For all of it to end, for all of my thoughts to end. I despise the way that always comes to mind. But I feel so lost, feel so hopeless. If something would just work. But nothing has worked. Nothing can fix this. These feelings will pass. These days won't feel so endless... or so absolutely heavy. Just give it some time. Just give it some hope... and some belief. The ‘happy pills’ will work. The doctor says they'll help... they'll help it go away. Just dump the pill in your hand. Let yourself place the little white thing on your tongue... Let yourself throw your head back and swallow. It'll make this better. It should make me feel better.
Everything has changed! The world is so bright— The world is so loud! I don’t know how I never noticed! The sun is so warm— The grass is so green! I feel so awake! I feel so content— I feel so happy! It’s so strange! I’m not anxious— I’m not overthinking! I guess those pills really worked! I think I’m really getting better— I think I’m really going to be happy!
I'm holding an African themed party tomorrow. There is no food, and the drinks are 10 miles away!
You call your dad the sun because he is 90 million miles away.
Okay, 19 dollar Fortnite card. Who wants it?
And yes, I’m giving it away. Remember: Share, share, share! And trolls: Don’t get BLOCKED!
Can’t believe how ungrateful my dwarf next-door neighbor is. I saw him waiting at the bus stop earlier today and offered to give him a lift, but he told me to “fuck off.” In the end, I decided to just close my rucksack and walk away.
How are Fortnite cards and orphans similar? They're given away.
I got pranked so many times. Once I saw two wheels rolling down the street. I heard this noise. I looked behind me. There's a legless man in a wheelless chair screaming, "HELP! I CAN'T GO ANYWHERE!" but I walked away. I knew it was a prank.
Are you the sun? I can see you from a mile away.
Your hairline is so ugly, your hair runs away from it.
I made this up.
I was watching a school baseball game, and I was yelling at a kid to take it home. He took the bat and threw it, and then ran away. I asked the teacher/coach what the problem was, and he said the kid was an orphan, and I started laughing so hard.
Later that night, I wondered where he stormed off to after he threw the bat, and I thought to myself, "Not home."
Why did Helen Keller's dog run away?
You would too if your name was "Raraaaughhaugh."