I was doing a magic show, i tried to make a bunny disappear but it didn’t work. I walked outside in shame, i looked up and realised the towers had disappeared!!!!
I think Paul Walker and 9/11 jokes are great but when I tell them to others they tend to crash and burn
I would tell a Biden joke except everyone would not stop falling alsleep (including him)
when you went to a ugly competition the judges said no professionals aloud
*walks into a comedy night club* Owner: You're doing standup tonight right?* Noob Joker (you): *Yes I am!* Owner: Get onto the stage Me: *walks up stage* Owner: this is the standup comedian noobpro Me: HEY GUYS HOW ABOUT SOME DONALD TRUMP Crowd: *RUNS*
Why was the emo kicked out of the circus? Because he was cutting in line!
2 magicians were in a competition the first one did magic and the second started counting down 3 2 but before he said the last number he 1
Lol these jokes have been heard millions of times
When a cookie 🍪 wins a race, what will the crowd say?
“Chip Chip Hooray”
Did anyone JET my joke. It probably flew over your heads, oops I meant trough.
you failed hellen kellers speech class? its okay shes not a very good speaker.
1. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field. 2. Why did the melon jump into the lake? It wanted to be a water-melon. 3. What did the duck say when it bought lipstick? “Put it on my bill.” 4. What do you call a pig that does karate? A pork chop. 5. What has a bed that you can’t sleep in? A river. 6. Why were the teacher’s eyes crossed? She couldn’t control her pupils. 7. What starts with E, ends with E, and has only 1 letter in it? An Envelope. 8. How does the ocean say hello? It waves. 9. What lights up a soccer stadium? A soccer match. 10. What creature is smarter than a talking parrot? A spelling bee. 11. Which U.S. state has the smallest soft drinks? Minnesota (as in, “mini-soda”). 12. Why couldn’t the leopard play hide and seek? Because he was always spotted. 13. Apparently, you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff. 14. Why did the drum take a nap? It was beat. 15. Where do hamburgers go dancing? They go to the meat-ball. 16. Why did the tomato turn red? It saw the salad dressing. 17. Why shouldn’t you write with a broken pencil? Because it’s pointless.
Make this post have 1000 comments
Donald Trump and the Pope were standing on a platform in front of a crowd of people. The Pope said to Donald Trump, “I can make everyone in this audience happy with one small swipe of my hand.” Donald Trump replies, “That’s not possible. You’ll have to show me.” Then the Pope slaps him.
What is the worst comedy for disabled people?
Stand Up Comedy!
Orphan jokes aren't to made fun of. They're just aimed at older audiences. Oh wait.
THEY AREN'T EVEN OLDER AGES.
So, I was at a stand up comedy show in Russia where the comedian was making fun of Putin. The jokes weren’t that good but I loved the execution.
These jokes are EGGxactly why I became a comedian and I know how to BAKEon breakfast
2 jokes in a row babyyyyy
I was in an audition for the lead role of movie 'Aquaman'. The Director told me to dive into a pool. Then outta nowhere Penaldo showed up and made a big dive into the pool. The director was impressed and selected Penaldo for the movie.Shame on you penaldo for destroying my dream
What do you call an emo strip club?
Suicidal Thots
