These two guys were at a bar flirting with these girls. The guy says, "Are you a parking ticket, 'cause you got fine written all over you?"
The girl turns and says, "How about you pay for them, and then I can pay you back with me getting all over you?"
I was always told I’m too small to ride, but every girl I’ve been with rated me a 9.5.
I’m horny and gay
How did the skeleton win the girl? He was humerus.
What’s a lesbian’s favorite sport? Dodge balls.
Hey, this is to orphans:
"Orphans are ugly. We need to know each other :D We need to date, cause ur hot and so am I and orphans rly are ugly!!!!"
Are you my friend?
Because I would make you more than that.
I just did a test to see who my soulmate is, and it said "best friend." So I guess I am gay. I think so, WTF.
Amelia is hotter than my mum 696969696.
Interviewer: What are your strengths?
Interviewee: I fall in love easily.
Interviewer: And your weaknesses?
Interviewee: Those beautiful green eyes of yours...
Are you feeling down? Because I wanna feel you up.
Did you just come from a bakery? Because you’ve got the hottest pair of buns I’ve seen all week.
Are you a trampoline? Because I want to bounce on you.
There was a girl called Millie, and she had sexy blond hair, and she wanted to chase me, but I told her she had to catch me first if she loves me.
Are you a builder, because you give me an erection.
Me: Breathe right now if you wanna date me.
Man, I don’t need Viagra when I see Mara!
Your really sexy 😉
why is the sun so attractive? because it is burning hot!
Best friend *holds a sign up that says "what gender are you?"*
Me: Uh, male?..
Best friend *then unfolds paper so it reads "what gender are you attracted to?"*
Me: You silly goose.
*Silence for like three seconds*
Me: Still male though-
