When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?
Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.
If your eyes were the sea, I would drown in them.
If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."
I love big hot sexy men.
Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
My mom is a chemistry teacher.
Mom: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back.
Me: Tell that to my FUCKING CRUSH, BITCH!
Guy 2 whispering: Oh, I got tired of acting gay.
Guy 1: I heard you. Why are you acting gay?
Guy 2: To attract gays and then give them advice.
Guy 1: So what's your advice to me?
Guy 2: That I just know you're gay.
LOL xD
A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.
The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.
After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.
Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"
Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!
Why can't gay people have hairlines? Because it's not straight.
Like if you think oily men are hot.
What's the definition of total chaos?
A bus load of retards passing a magnet factory.
Killua is hot, why?
He's gay.
I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?
What do you call a sexually attracted pizza who spoons another pizza?
A Topping.
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
Are you feeling down? Because I’d happily feel you up.
Are you Hiroshima? Because I want to drop my bomb inside you.
What does the man cheeseburger say to the girl cheeseburger?
“You got nice buns!”
