Attraction jokes

What’s the difference between weed and pussy?

If you can smell weed from across the room, it means the weed's good.

You must be ice cream because I wanna lick you up.

Girl: I’m so in love with you!

Boy: Me too. I think you’re abcdefghijk: aesthetic, beautiful, cool, determined, elegant, famous, hot.

Girl: What’s the ijk?

Boy: I’m just kidding.

That shirt's very becoming on you.

If I were on you, I’d be coming too.

A good woman is like a good cup of coffee, especially when it’s strong and hot with a little bit of cream in it.

If you have a girlfriend/crush that's shorter than you, go up to her and say, "You're short, lemme add some inches."

I love big hot sexy men.

When you’re trying to attract a partner, it’s important to project the qualities you desire. Shit, have I had to suck a lot of cock lately!?

If your eyes were the sea, I would drown in them.

Do you work at Subway? Because you turn my 6 inch into a footlong.

What did the dirt say to the embers?

You look smoking hot.

Are you Hiroshima? Because I want to drop my bomb inside you.

Aside from being sexy, what do you do for a living?

Are you a banana...

because I find you a-peeling!

My mom is a chemistry teacher.

Mom: You can’t be attracted to something without it being attracted to you back.

Me: Tell that to my FUCKING CRUSH, BITCH!

Guy 2 whispering: Oh, I got tired of acting gay.

Guy 1: I heard you. Why are you acting gay?

Guy 2: To attract gays and then give them advice.

Guy 1: So what's your advice to me?

Guy 2: That I just know you're gay.

LOL xD

A young peasant coming from the field with his scythe on his shoulder notices an attractive young woman that was doing the laundry in a mountain stream, perched on some rocks near a waterfall.

The guy stops and leans against his scythe, fascinated by the young girl's beauty.

After minutes of watching her, she loses her balance, slips on a rock and falls all the way down, crushing her head on the white rocks.

Thoughtful, he puts his scythe back on his shoulder and walks away, saying to himself "Damn, another washing machine destroyed by limestone!"

Why can't gay people have hairlines? Because it's not straight.

Are you a volcano? Because you're hot and I really lava you!

Like if you think oily men are hot.