Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
What did the emo say before he crossed the road?
"Fuck my life."
Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?
Orphan: ...
Why are short people so angry?? Cause they're closer to hell.
If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.
How to treat someone who’s lesbian, gay, queer, transgender or bisexual?
The same way that you would treat anybody else, you homophobic bastard.
What do a blonde and a doorknob have in common?
Everyone gets a turn ;)
Bully: You're gonna die.
Me: Hurry up then.
Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.
How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.
he never has a bad day cuz he wakes up on both side of the bed
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.
I told them, "Just you wait!"
Why are emos jealous of light?
The lights are hanging.
Are you getting tired of life? Yes? Then call 180 go fuck yourself.
It's not our problem.com That's 180 go fuck yourself it's not our problem.com
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
To anyone suffering from low self esteem:
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/UTymDoPOEnY
Why was the short person a coward? They didn't stand up to challenges.
