Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
What did the emo say before he crossed the road?
"Fuck my life."
If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.
Q: How many emo kids will it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry.
Why are short people so angry?? Cause they're closer to hell.
Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?
Orphan: ...
What do a blonde and a doorknob have in common?
Everyone gets a turn ;)
How to treat someone who’s lesbian, gay, queer, transgender or bisexual?
The same way that you would treat anybody else, you homophobic bastard.
Bully: You're gonna die.
Me: Hurry up then.
Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.
How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.
My syndrome may be down, but my hopes are up!
Why are emos jealous of light?
The lights are hanging.
You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
My mom is bad and my dad is bad.
Dad, I hate you!
How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they are all crying in a dark corner.
To anyone suffering from low self esteem:
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/UTymDoPOEnY
My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.
I told them, "Just you wait!"
