Attitude

Attitude jokes

Kid

Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”

Kid: “Whatever!”

Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”

Kid: “Doesn't matter!”

Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”

Kid: “Oh well!”

Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”

Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”

Emo

What did the emo say before he crossed the road?

"Fuck my life."

Size

If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.

Emo kid

Q: How many emo kids will it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

Memes

Blonde

What do a blonde and a doorknob have in common?

Everyone gets a turn ;)

Bastard

How to treat someone who’s lesbian, gay, queer, transgender or bisexual?

The same way that you would treat anybody else, you homophobic bastard.

Woman

Ariana Grande agrees with me on something: women belong in the kitchen and bedroom.

Ableist

How am I an ableist? My ex-girlfriend was in a wheelchair, and we lived in the same old building with a broken elevator. I ended the relationship by moving to the 8th floor.

Sun

You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.

Martini

James Bond: Vodka martini.

Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.

James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?

Emo kid

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, they are all crying in a dark corner.

Procrastination

My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.

I told them, "Just you wait!"