Attitude jokes

Thanks to the voice who keeps telling me to let go,

he is my only motivation for trying again.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.

Teachers: Do you give your mother that attitude?

Orphan: ...

I don’t know why I go to the gym. Being healthy is dying as fast as possible, and I really want to speed that shit up.

Elementary school kids: School is fun.

Me: Yeah, yeah, just keep believing that.

Are you getting tired of life? Yes? Then call 180 go fuck yourself.

It's not our problem.com That's 180 go fuck yourself it's not our problem.com

My mom is bad and my dad is bad.

I hate autistic kids and ADHD people because they are stupid, special, retarded, brainless freaks, and they are stupid.

Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?

She thought her grandma was trying to flex.

Leo is like Monday mornings... everyone dreads her, but we're forced to deal with her anyway.

Motivational Quote for today: If you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...

So, Biden, Zelensky, and Putin are on a plane, and the plane loses altitude and goes down, but there are 2 parachutes. Putin takes the first one and jumps because he is a greedy twat. So he jumps, but then Biden says, "You go, Zelensky. I am much older than you, and it is ok for me to die." So Zelensky takes the second one and jumps, but when he did, the plane regains altitude, and Biden got to Washington, DC, all fine. They found out the reason was Zelensky's steel balls.

Life is too short, just like me. Get roasted, short people!

If someone is bullying you for being fat, remember, you're the bigger person, a MUCH bigger person.

No, no, no, I am cool.

What do you call a booty that’s always negative?

A pessimist-cheek.

My teachers told me I'd never amount to much because I procrastinate so much.

I told them, "Just you wait!"

Don't y'all just hate when something funny to you happens and then you just have to be quiet so you don't look like a villain?

Kid: Hi Mum!

Mum: Hi, Loser!

Kid: Why?

Mum: You loser, why? Hahaha!

Kid: Waaaaaaa!

I know this is not funny, but who cares?