I don’t like to make jokes around dwarfs.
Simply because they look up to me.
Your mom's been giving me attitude lately, so I told her to shut her mouth. When she did, it caused me to lose 4 inches.
My attitude doesn't have to be the only reason I yell and roll my eyes in the back of my head.
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
What do you call a booty that’s always negative?
A pessimist-cheek.
Motivational Quote for today: If you're feeling tired and ugly today, cheer up, you probably won't feel tired tomorrow morning...
Why do strippers never care about things?
Because the last time they gave a fuck, it was for $20 an hour.
Why didn’t the emo attend her grandma’s funeral?
She thought her grandma was trying to flex.
Yo mama so fat that John cena couldn’t get her down with a attitude adjustment
If you're feeling mad, punch an autistic kid. What's he gonna do, blabber to the teacher?
I got in trouble at school today because I told the teacher at school with COVID to stay positive.
Are you getting tired of life? Yes? Then call 180 go fuck yourself.
It's not our problem.com That's 180 go fuck yourself it's not our problem.com
Why are emos jealous of light?
The lights are hanging.
Principal: “Why did you have to skip class? Because of that detention!”
Kid: “Whatever!”
Principal: “Why did you have to swear? Because of that one demerit!”
Kid: “Doesn't matter!”
Principal: “Why did you yell at a teacher and throw a chair at them? Because of that you're suspended!”
Kid: “Oh well!”
Principal: “Why did you have to push a kid down the stairs and kill them? Because of that you're expelled!”
Kid: “I'm trying not to kill myself!”
You're the sun in my life, now get 93 million miles away from me.
Tiktoker: I will kill anyone who pours milk before cereal.
Depressed kid tiktok reply: *pours milk before cereal, pours cereal then takes a bite* I'll wait.
Some people are such treasures that you sometimes just wanna bury them.
If you're gay, does that mean you're sexist?
James Bond: Vodka martini.
Bartender: Shaken, not stirred.
James Bond: Do I look like I give a damn?
I threw a lamp at an emo kid and told him to lighten the f*ck up.
