X: Morning, sunshine!
Y: Oh, yeah. 30 minutes more.
Why does Sally have no friends? Because she is obese.
Me people call me emo.
Older cousin: Why?
Because I always have my hood up and wear black cloths and wear black cross earrings.
Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.
People generalize others too much.
Mom, why was I adopted?
Because people are terrible, and that’s how the world works, son!
Ok, Dad, the world is TERRIBLE!
I saw my midget neighbor at a bus stop.
"Jump in, I'll give you a lift home," I said.
"Bugger off!" he shouted back.
"What an ungrateful little man," I thought as I zipped up my backpack and continued my walk.
Lesson in laziness number 136894236842: don't be too lazy to read large numbers.
I hate school. I mean, why can't you pull out a 12 gauge and shoot everyone, including the teachers?! This generation is too soft, man.
My friend: Hey, why are you always smiling?
Me: 'Cause life is a joke and we’re all slacking it off.
You're so emo, the sun turned black.
Leo is like Monday mornings... everyone dreads her, but we're forced to deal with her anyway.
How do you rape a girl?
By doing a tornado kick to your head since you stupid kids like rape jokes!
Neona (😟): I bet you I'm not going to get that job at all!
Gwen (😌): Yeah well, I believe in you.
Neona (😔): You got the job, and am I still waiting for them to call me and remind me that I will, but I won't get it. Anyway, I need to prepare for a job that I won't get.
Gwen (😠): Neona, you just don't got enough confidence. You got to have confidence in life. I know you will get the job. I do now. Just believe instead of giving up!
Neona (😞): UGH fine!!!
Gwen (😉): I'll see you at that job interview!!!! Put a smile on your face, too!
Neona (😊): Okay...Gwen, you're the best!
Why do they act so emo?
Because they are all retards.
Why do gay men and lesbians believe that bisexual men don't exist because there is no such thing as male bisexuality?
Because it doesn't cycle 🚲.
If you make jokes about SH, you're not funny, and if you do, I'm gonna assume you're some 12-year-old who wants to be an edge lord. I don't really care if people get pressed.
What do Gay Men and Minorities have in common?
My dad hates them both!
I'm so emo, my blood is black.
What do you call a booty that’s always negative?
A pessimist-cheek.
