Why don't Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
Okay, so I ate an apple and it tasted good.
Why did Hitler lose the war?
Because Göring ate every last airplane, tank, artillery, ship, and ammunition!
A random drunk person ate poop, but he found out it was liquid...
Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?
Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.
What is scarier than a pile of dead babies?
The bottom one ate its way out!
"F***, Jesus ate his stinky ass."
A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.
When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!
I ain’t a chicken, but I ate a duck before.
The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a twin?
Yeah, Helen ate her in the womb.
Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF
Why does the cannibal village not exist anymore?
They all ate each other.
My mom ate my food, so I ate her pet hamster.
I said I ate an apple because I was hungry.
Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight(ate) nine.
You know why seven ate nine? Because 7, 8, 9.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence.
Jane ate her friend’s sandwich.
Jane ate her friend’s colon.
Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.
