Ate jokes
Why don't Chinese people play cricket?
Because they ate all the bats!
Okay, so I ate an apple and it tasted good.
Why did Hitler lose the war?
Because Göring ate every last airplane, tank, artillery, ship, and ammunition!
A random drunk person ate poop, but he found out it was liquid...
What is scarier than a pile of dead babies?
The bottom one ate its way out!
Memes
Why is Hugh's mum so fucking fat?
Because she ate the 34 other kids she had but now only has 6,789.
"F***, Jesus ate his stinky ass."
A woman comes from a restaurant and ate a lot of beans.
When she gets home, her husband puts a blindfold on her and says not to take it off. The lady hears her husband leave the room and starts farting really loudly. When the husband comes back and takes off the blindfold, the lady sees 12 people with pegs on their noses singing happy birthday!
Did you know that Helen Keller had a twin?
Yeah, Helen ate her in the womb.
The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.
I ain’t a chicken, but I ate a duck before.
Your mom is so fat she ate an iPad and said, "Ahqah!" funny food mmm banana and hehe haha! And what deal with airline food? It's not white and it's not black and it's not Asian!? AHAH? DSF
My mom ate my food, so I ate her pet hamster.
Why does the cannibal village not exist anymore?
They all ate each other.
I said I ate an apple because I was hungry.
You know why seven ate nine? Because 7, 8, 9.
Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven eight(ate) nine.
It turns out a major new study recently found that humans eat more bananas than monkeys.
It’s true. I can’t remember the last time I ate a monkey.
Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.
A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence.
Jane ate her friend’s sandwich.
Jane ate her friend’s colon.