Ate jokes
Why was six scared of seven? Because seven ate nine.
My mom once ate a full giant cheesecake, and we were walking to our flight back home, and she had to sh*t.
We were walking to the bathroom, and she full on [did it] in front of the carousel. She had a lump of poo in her pants... True story, haha!
Why did two 4s skip dinner? Because they already ate.
What did Osama give the Windows on the World restaurant in the WTC as a rating when he ate it? A 9/11!
Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app, and it just sent an ambulance to my house.
Why was six scared of seven? Because 7 ate 9. Why was 10 scared? Because it was between 9/11.
Why is 7 afraid of 8?
Because 8 ate 9, 10, 11!
Question: What do you call 8 apples?
Answer: The iPhone 8.
A cannibal went to the dietitian, and he got told to eat more vegetables, so he ate a disabled person.
Why is 6 scared of 7? 7 8 9.
Seven ate nine.
Why did 6 eat 7? Because 7 ate 9.
Why can't Chinese people play baseball?
Because they ate the bat.
Did you know that Helen Keller had a twin?
Yeah, Helen ate her in the womb.
Jig, Jill, Bill ate a pill.
If a lion ate a child, is the lion a child predator?
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
I ate my mom.
Do you know why dinosaurs can't eat hyenas?
Because they're dead! The last thing they ate was some rock.
A random drunk person ate poop, but he found out it was liquid...
Yo momma decided to go to KFC until she realized she had to share with her family, so she bought ten buckets and the cashier said, "Here is the receipt." Now yo momma got afraid of how much money she had to spend, despiting on how she spent more than Drake's net worth that he can even lend. She went back home seeing her family looking at her and the KFC, thinking that could be her rent, but the whole family dug into the food. By the second they see the plates empty and seeing the lazy mom steady, she ate so much she wasn't ready until she fell, which caused an earthquake, which made her go to jail, which caused her to be scary.