Asked jokes

"I was walking in the yard yesterday and a bug stepped on me. Why, you ask? Because the bug didn't know I was there."

A German soldier was walking down the street in a hail storm and a woman got hit unconscious. He ran over to see if she was ok. Other people came running over. They asked what happened, and the German soldier said, "Hail hit her."

What does pussy taste like in chocolate cream pie?

Don't ever ask me no damn question like that. I ain't never had no damn chocolate cream pie, you crazy?

How's your day going?

Shut up, I didn't ask.

Use code tiko#teamfish

Yo mama's so fat, when God said, "Let there be light," he asked her to move out of the way.

One day a woman met with a man behind an abandoned shop.

The man asked for some crack.

The woman turned around and said, "Here."

That's where the crack was, you guessed it.

The next day, she wiped it clean, ready for the next guest who "wanted crack."

How do you get Dick from Richard?

You ask nicely.

My grandpa asked me to pass him his phone, but I passed him a calculator. He couldn't tell the difference.

So Timmy was walking down the street with his friend Lea. Suddenly a car drives by and Timmy waves at the car.

Lea looks at him, puzzled, then later asks him; "Why'd you wave at that car back there?"

Timmy replies "Oh that was my brother, he went to the bar. He must just be driving home..."

When a person asked to see her balance at a bank, they pushed him over.

I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.

My sister said to me "I love him long time."

An Abo walks into a pub with a seagull on his shoulder. The barman asks, "Where did you find that?" The seagull replied, "At the tip, mate, there are lots there."

A kindergarten teacher asks her students, "Do you know any words that start with P?"

Little Timmy responds with, "Elmo."

Today I was asked if I was in favor of legalizing prostitution.

I admit I haven't given it much of a thot.

How do you get "Dick" from Richard?

Ask him nicely.

Normally the reason you don't get a knife when you ask for one is because the person you asked is emo.

What's the most embarrassing thing about locking your keys in the car outside a pregnancy care center?

Having to go inside and ask for a coat hanger.

I asked my friend what happened to him?

His balance shifted.

Your mom is so old, she walked into an antique store and they kept her.

Your mom is so dumb, she called me asking for my phone #.

I'm bored so can y'all ask me some questions and I have to answer them?