Ares jokes
Why can’t a tree have sex? They are always tied up.
I was being interviewed by Elon Musk. He asked, "Where are you from?" and I said Portugal. He replied, "So you are a fellow countryman of a Pen merchant whose freekick ball broke my rover on Mars. Get out!!" Tears ran down my face. Shame on you, Penaldo, for costing me my dream job!
Dude: Hey dude guess who I am?
Viewers: Dora.
Trump: No, I am President Trump.
Viewers: Why are you wearing Dora’s clothes and backpack?
Trump: Today we are going to build a wall.
Viewers: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
What is the difference between Madeleine McCann and a submarine?
They are both full of seamen and are at the bottom of the ocean.
Girls are like roller coasters; the faster you go, the louder they scream.
Memes
You are so fat Bob the Builder said, "I can't fix it!" LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
Roses are red, violets are blue, Bill Cosby will pudding rape you.
Who can jump the highest?
Emo kids, some are still in the air.
When I found out that 10 billion bowls of soup are consumed each year in AMERICA, I thought to myself, "I thought soup was healthy. Apparently not!"
My balls are so purple that I use them as crayons, and I am not talking about the balls you play with. I am talking about the boy balls.
America and UK are a joke.
There are multiple. That’s the joke.
Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot some kids inside of you.
A guy says to his dog, "Where are you?" The dog was actually dead, bro.
Emo people are like other emo people, they're emo. Laugh now or I'll cut your eyes out. Tee hee!
Yo mama so stupid that she sat on the TV and watched the couch.
We are in a matrix, wake up.
Why didn’t the orphan play baseball?
Because I took the bat and swung it at their kneecaps, and now they can’t run. What are they going to do, tell their parents?
You should bully orphans. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?
When you are bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Call their parents?
What are an orphan's favorite shoes?
White Vans.