Ares jokes
"Chris, I just saw five fat people, and you are one of them."
What do you call a group of people who are interested in Nintendo monkeys?
A Kongregation.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Bill Cosby will pudding rape you.
Why are chickens so awesome? Because... Chicken noise.
How are an orphan and baseball different from each other?
A baseball game has a home run.
Why do orphans love GTA?
Because they are actually wanted!
Roses are red, violets are blue, I'll be a jaeger, will you be my kaiju?
Even people who are good for nothing can bring a smile to your face.
For instance, when you push them down the stairs.
How are Eggs Benedict and a blow job alike?
You can't get either one at home.
A baby and his father are sitting in a street cafe. A woman bends over to pick up her keys just as a gust of wind blows up the woman's dress. "va va voom," the baby says. The dad chuckles and says, "Yes. I'd like to have sex with her too."
I'm just happy no idiots are calling these people fat-phobic.
Why are orphans not allowed in stores?
Because else they would actually feel at home.
Kid says, “Are you a soldier?”
Soldier says, “Mhm.”
Kid says, “I wanna be a soldier someday.”
Soldier says, “Really?”
The kid says, “Yeah, but father says I don’t have the balls to be a soldier, but he’s right. I’m a FUCKING PRETTY PRETTY PRINCESS!!!"
Fishermen are the best at networking.
When you are being spoon-fed and your mum says, "Here comes the airplane."
Your life literally is as valuable as a summer ant. I'm just gonna stomp you, you're gonna keep coming back, I'm gonna seal up all my cracks, you're gonna keep coming back, why? Cause you keep smelling the syrup, you worthless bitchass nlgga! You're gonna stay on my dick until you die. You serve no purpose in life, your purpose in life is to be on my stream sucking on my dick daily. Your purpose in life is to be in that chat blowing a dick daily. Your life is nothing, you serve ZERO purpose. You should kill yourself, NOW! And give somebody else a piece of that oxygen and ozone layer that's covered up so we can breathe inside this blue trapped bubble. Cause what are you here for? To worship me? Kill yourself! I mean that with a hundred percent with a thousand percent.
You know what me and my spine both have in common? We are both not straight.
Most of the jokes are trash.
I saw a little girl crying, and I said, "Where are your parents?" That day, I got fired from the orphanage. 🤪
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He’s not breathing and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls 911.
“I think my friend is dead!” he yells. “What can I do?”
The operator says, “Calm down. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.”
There’s a silence, then a shot. Back on the phone, the guy says, “OK, now what?”