Ares jokes
Tell who we are.
"Thank God there are no of these ahahha ya thank God to pranks."
"Oh I forgot a dance 🕺 😅 joke is good ok for kids."
Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.
Why do Indians gamble so much? They are hoping to one day reclaim their land.
These are as weak as the towers.
Are you a professor? I have a theory about sex that I need to test on someone.
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing, and his eyes are glazed.
The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?"
The operator says, "Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead."
There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says, "OK, now what?"
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan?
Apples are picked.
Why are Christmas trees banned at the mental hospital?
They would hang themselves like ornaments.
Friend: What are you doing?
Me: Putting peanut butter on my balls.
Friend hears in the distance, "Orphans, I have food for you!"
When you hit a speed bump in a school zone and then you remember there are no speed bumps.
Man: Stop with these orphan jokes!
Me: Why? Are they going to tell their parents on me?
Q: Why are morbid jokes so cruel?
A: Because they are!
Someone was crushing a bag of chips. I said, "Are you making edibles?"
Do you know why I hate pedophiles? They are fucking immature kids!
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless man who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, extracted ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some beer with it instead of dinner?"
"No, I had to stop drinking years ago," the homeless man replied.
"Will you use it to go fishing instead of buying food?" I asked.
"No, I don't waste time fishing," the homeless man said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive."
"Will you spend this on hunting equipment?" I asked.
"Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless man. "I haven't gone hunting in 20 years!"
"Well," I said, "I'm not going to give you money. Instead, I'm going to take you home for a shower and a terrific dinner cooked by my wife."
The homeless man was astounded. "Won't your wife be furious with you for doing that?"
I replied, "Don't worry about that. It's important for her to see what a man looks like after he has given up drinking, fishing and hunting."
Roses are red, I have free candy, get in my van, I have a gun handy.
Why do men get great ideas in bed?
'Cause they are plugged into a genius!
Are those tears real or are they like you? Fake.
What do a male pornstar and an emo have in common?
They are both hung.