Ares jokes

Talk to me if you are online.

85% of us are good at school, while the other 15% is good at suicide.

(Teach me your ways, 15%.)

So imagine bullying an orphan so bad they cry, and then you say, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"

What did Michael Jackson say when Anne got hurt?

"♫ ANNIE, ARE YOU OKAY? ARE YOU OKAY, ANNIE? ANNIE ARE YOU OKAY. BUT JUST TELL US, THAT YOU'RE OKAY. ♫"

My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.

So many of these jokes are unoriginal, and you guys need to step up your game.

Question: "You're-a-American" when you're not in the restroom and when you come out of the restroom. What are you when you're in the restroom?

Answer: European (You're-a-peein')

When I was walking home, a couple of married guys were saying, "Your mom is good at her job," but I realized my mom doesn't work.

So I ask my mom, "Why are these guys saying you're good at your job? You don't work." My mom said, "Yeah, I got a new job." So I said, "What do you do?" My mom said, "Job hand, no, I mean it's called a hand job."

What do you call a man who likes rape jokes?

A fucking disgusting scumbag with no intelligence whatsoever. If you actually joke about this, you are the reason humanity has faded.

In Australia, my jokes are high koala-ty.

There are two kids sitting in a classroom: Lily and John. Lily sleeps in class every day.

The teacher asks Lily who made heaven and earth. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

The teacher says, "That's right."

The teacher says the next day she asks the same question. John pokes her with a pencil. She shouts, "Jesus Christ Almighty!"

"That's right," the teacher says.

The next day she asks Lily what did Eve say to Adam after their 100th. John pokes her again. "If you stick that thing in me one more time, I'mma break it in half!" she shouts.

Roses are red, I need a broom, I just shit all over the bathroom.

Are you a dog because you're a fucking bitch?

Why do Catholic priests make the best cocksuckers for gay and bisexual men that are members of the Catholic Church?

Because there are glory holes inside of the confessional booths.

Roses are red,

My nuts are bigger than your small balls, that's why I get all the bitches.

Roses are red, violets are blue, You'll suck my dick 'cause I'm stronger than you.

Why are the lines on the gay pride flag straight?

Mom: Son, where are my condoms?

Son: What are condoms?

Dad: She puts it on me and the sandwich.

Son: Wait, why did my girlfriend come over and take one?

Dad: Um, I don't know, but go to bed.

Son: But it's 2:46pm in the afternoon, bruh.

The terrorists got a killstreak of 2,996; they are popping off, bro.

Roses are red, violets are blue, the stonks are high, and so are you.