Ares jokes

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

I have schizophrenia,

And so do I.

Jesse: Do you like my ball?

Mike: Yes, they are very big. I can’t even fit them in my mouth. You bought a new ball, right?

Jesse: No, they do not leave me.

Hello everyone! I just came back! How are things going?

How do homeless people punish their children?

What are their children going to do? Go to their room?

Kobe Bryant and 9/11 are two things I don't joke about because when I do, they tend to crash and burn.

Why are handicap signs blue? Because they're all Crips. (sorry)

My jokes are like kids with cancer; they never get old.

Little Johnny walked into an ice cream shop and asked: "Do you have chocolate filled ice cream?"

The man replies: "We are out of that, sorry, we are almost out of every single flavor, do you want me to get you a vanilla filled one?"

Johnny replies: "Sure."

After that, the man asks for Johnny's phone and goes to back of the store. 5 minutes later, the man comes with an ice cream and Johnny's phone.

Johnny asks: "How much for the ice cream?"

The man replies: "Nothing, it's on the house."

After Johnny ate his delicious ice cream, he searched for his watch history. And then Johnny realized the flavor of the ice cream.

I sometimes want rampage, but what good would that do?

I look for a way out, but there's not even a light shining through.

The times where all is dark, are the times that I need a mark.

Though people say that nobody will care, the truth is: there's always one who's fair.

That person may not be the one you expect, but I am here with a passion to redirect.

Once there was a time where I tried to end it all, because I only looked on the dark side.

Truth was I wanted to be heard, to be respected, to let someone know.

But that was in the past and this isn't about my dark ride, it's time for others to know that only a few words, can extinguish a glow.

What do you call it when you are very sad in Panera Bread?

Panera Dread.

I think people should date orphans, because their parents are never home.

These are all really nice jokes, but here is one.

Boy: Spell ME.

Girl: M-E.

Boy: You forgot the D.

Girl: There is no D in ME.

Boy: Not yet.

Comment on this if you are somewhat like me: depressed, single, gay, and act like you're not burning inside.

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Are you peeling well?

Wife: "Did you notice that the child is actually not yours?"

Husband: "I've been suspecting this for a long time. Finally you admit it."

Wife: "What are you talking about? I asked you to pick up our child from the kindergarten. But the child you picked up is not ours!"

Kid goes to the kitchen.

Mom: What are you doing here?

Kid: Just checking out the knife.

Mom: So you've chosen death.

When you are f***ing your girlfriend and then she tells you that you f**k like your guys' dad.

Then you f**k your mom and she says the same thing.

drew here freshfry you are almost deadfry! I forgive you, just don't do it again. You know what I am talking about!

Robin Hood [hands over stolen fortune]: here you are, my poor friend.

Friend: Wow thanks, I'm rich!

Robin [narrows eyes]: You're what?