Ares jokes
What are they going to say about Tim Gunn in 20 years?
He kicked the bucket.
When you tell her you are about to "COME," she says no, don't, please just keep going.
Shenron: THAT IS BEYOND MY POWER.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home.
The details are SKETCHY! :)
Why are my students so naughty?
Guy: Are you tired?
His “Crush”: No.
Guy: Are you sure, because you’ve been running through my mind all day?
His “Crush”: That’s sweet.
Guy: I’m joking, you don’t look like you do any running.
What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
Apples are picked.
For all those Simpsons fans out there, this one I'm sure you know:
Abe: "It's rotten being old. No one listens to you."
Lisa: "It's awful being a kid. No one listens to you."
Homer: "I'm a white male, aged 18-49. Everyone listens to me--no matter how dumb my suggestions are."
Two muffins are in an oven.
One says, "Man, it is hot in here!"
The other one says, "OMG, a talking muffin!"
A boy couldn't walk normally because his pants were huge, and when he went to school, the people there made so many jokes about him that he died.
IT'S NOT TRUE, JUST A FAKE JOKE, DON'T WORRY!
So there is someone who doesn't know what an armadillo is.
He then sees one. He asks it a question, "What are you?"
The armadillo replies, "Armadillo."
The person says: "What's a dilo?"
"Mommy, mommy! Are we janitors?"
"Shut up and pass me the mop."
"Mommy, Mommy! Are we going to live forever?"
"Only in your dreams."
Roses are red, violets are blue, you look like Honey Boo Boo!
Women say their baby daddies are trash like... woman, didn't he impregnate you and didn't he win your heart? I mean, he's not trash, you are!
AR-15: Who are you?
Musket: I'm you, but from another timeline.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I pray God I'm not so ugly as you.
Fuck people who are bigger than me physically, emotionally, mentally, economically, and socially.
You are like a thunderstorm; when you go away, like your dad, everyone is happy.
How many thots have I bullied?
Three. The rest are dead.
You are the gayest.