Ares jokes

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Your laughter's melody, Makes my world anew.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In your eyes' reflection, My dreams come true.

Me: Which WiFi are we on?

Coworker: Should be floor 89.

Me: What about flight 104?

Coworker: Oh crap!

Why are the Twin Towers mad?

Because they ordered a pepperoni pizza, and I got plane'd.

Me when my girlfriend comes home, I check her phone and there are 100 texts from a different guy asking her out, and her text says yes.

Get the whip, you're out!

You realize we are tolerating you, right?

See, this is the best thing about no such thing as vampires because I'd be the first person to say drinks are on me.

HELP! I MIGHT BE A RELIGIOUS EXTREMIST BECAUSE MY RHYMES ARE DA BOMB.

Bored? Run over an orphan with your car! What are they going to do, tell their nonexistent parents?

Why are Americans so bad at Clash? They already lost two towers.

Why did the Titanic sink?

Because the people aboard are stupid.

Yo mama so old, her photos are in a museum and her friends are in a graveyard.

When creating the world, Jesus made the water salty. A person comes up to the water, drinks it, and says: "Why are you so salty?"

You are so fat that when you jump into the pool, everyone gets out.

Are you a builder? Because you are giving me an erection.

Why do men get great ideas in bed?

'Cause they are plugged into a genius!

A person with a wheelchair and a football, then they are Rocket League.

You are playing as Ukraine in Military Tycoon, and then someone kills you. You see who killed you in nuke revenge, and it says "Putinmoserfucer2342."

Sonic says if you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they going to do? Tell their parents?

This guy comes knocking on the door in hell and speaks to God. "Please let me out, it is too cold in here!"

God is all confused. "There is a big fire in there!" The guy answers, "Yes, there is, but you cannot get near it. All the bishops, cardinals, and priests are sitting around it."