Ares jokes

What do tofu and a dildo have in common? They are both meat substitutes.

Why does rapboat like underage girls? Cos grown ass girls are too clever for him.

Women in general are jokes.

Gay gang.

So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.

Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?

Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.

Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.

Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!

Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.

Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...

NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!

You are annoying lolllllllll.

My favorite animal is a cheetah, so I hope the jokes are good.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

9/11 victims, they went through 42 stories in 7 seconds.

Why are mountains so smart?

'Cause they have a degree.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, In every step you take, My support stays true.

Why are Asian's dicks too small?

So they can reset the calculator.

One way to not pick up a girl is to say, “Are you an American school because I wanna shoot kids into you?” I tried it on a girl, and she is now terrified to come near me.

How was I supposed to know she was already pregnant?

Why is it better to date an orphan?

Their parents are never home.

What did the North Tower say to the South Tower in summer?

"Are you ready for fall?"

"People are more honest when they are tired, so I made my nephew do push-ups 50 times when I realized he stole my cookies."

I saw a little boy begging for money.

I said, "Are you an orphan?"

He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"

I said, "Your parents!"

What are four ways a condom is like a Republican elephant?

1. It stands for inflation.

2. It limits production.

3. It encourages cooperation.

4. It gives you a feeling of security even though you know you're being screwed.

I told my therapist you are too fat and ugly to date grown men. Then she asked me, "You wanna give a judgemental reaction about that?" I said, "Okay, you smell rat pee on somebody's cock."

Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers.

Guy: Hi, how was your day today?

Woman: Good!

Guy: *Well I can’t ask her out cause she’s pregnant*

Guy: How many months pregnant are you?

Woman: What to you mean?!?! Also, I’m not pregnant.

Why are orphans afraid of your orphanage?

Because I burnt it down!