what does your mum and istanbul have in common?
they are all insane comebacks!!!
It was mealtime on a small airline and the flight attendant asked the passenger if he would like dinner. "What are my choices?" he asked.
"Yes or No," she replied.
Two fish are in a tank. One says, "You man the guns, I'll drive!"
Why were the twin towers actually twins?
Their birth and death date are the same!
I was going to go hunting but then I realized, schools are closed due to covid.
In what ways do nuns and hoes have something in common?
They both worship on their knees. They are both creatures of habit. They both take vows of poverty and obedience. Once chosen, neither can leave the life. They both swallow their hosts.
The lice in your head are starting to concern over deforestation
Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik’s cubes? Because they have a history of separating colors.
Next time at walmart I'm going to scan my wrist they are basically barcodes
Is it just me or are magnets really attractive?
A straight man and a gay man are talking, the straight man says, "I'm wanted in 2 states for murder." and the gay man replies with, "oh, that sucks. I'm wanted in 13 for existing."
The cemetery is so overcrowded. People are just dying to get in.
Why don't midgets use tampons? Answer: They are always tripping over the string.
The ones you hate most are also the one who is by your side most.
Roses are red Violets are blue We're gonna make love Because I'm stronger than you
What is bill Cosby's favorite poem? Roses are red, my cum is blue, I'll wait till your asleep to rape you
why are americans so dumb?
because they shoot the ones that go to school
Guy walks into a bar. Sees a hot girl. Walks up to her and says "your getting laid tonight" She replies "what are you some sort of psychic" He says "No i'm just stronger than you".
Why are people mass buying toilet paper because of the coronavirus?
When someone sneezes, everyone shits their pants.
I only remember my fathers last words before he died. He said, "Are you still holding the ladder?"
