Ares jokes

Why can orphans give all you people posting all these stupid orphan jokes over and over again a good kick in the face?

Well, what are you gonna do, tell their parents?

P.S. Stop posting stupid orphan jokes over and over again.

What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?

I C D K

I can make a word with those: "DICK".

I bet you're a child molester who got out of jail and is now sexually harassing kids such as Addison! Will fuck off and get a life, btw your roasts are not fucking funny, they're bullshit like your face and your hairline.

I never liked unnatural adult stars with implants and face surgeries because they look photoshopped, and they always need a ton of lube to get into due to how plastic they are.

Women: Can I have your number?

Jesus: No.

Women: Why? Are you scared?

Jesus: No. Just when you wanna talk, just pray.

Officer: Hi, how high are you?

Pothead: No officer, it's "how are you?"

Officer: Oh, I'm sorry, I've been high since last night.

Pothead: Cool, I'd like to give you some weed, happy 420, sir.

Officer: Omg, thanks man, appreciate that.

Imagine when you are about to cry at the funeral, then your friend's phone rings.

Then he says, "I'll call you back, I'm still at the die."

Why are there not that many phones in China? Because there’s too much Wing and Wong, so they will "wing" the wrong number.

Why are Americans bad at chess? Because they lost two towers.

I remember my grandad's last words: "Are you still holding the ladder?"

What is the difference between cremation and smoking?

While you are smoking, you don't go up in smoke.

A man walked into the kitchen and asked his blonde wife what she was doing. She said, "I'm trying to do this jigsaw puzzle. It's supposed to be a tiger, but all of the pieces are brown." Her husband then said, "Honey, those are frosted flakes."

Are you a race car?

Cuz I’m tryna fuck.

Why don’t Mexicans have an Olympic team? Because everyone who can run, jump, and swim are in the USA.

Levi and Andrew are fat.

When Chinese babies are born, they should put a sticker on their forehead saying "MADE FROM CHINA".

Daughter: Dad, why are you so mean?

Dad: Because you are so mean, that's why.

Daughter: You so get on my nerves.

Dad: I am gonna slap you in your god darn head if you don't shut up.

Daughter: Wow, Dad, you savage.

Dad: 21 SAVAGEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Daughter: Oh my God, I am tellin' Mom that you are doin' that thing again.

You. Me. Gas station. What are we getting for dinner? Sushi of course. Uh oh! There was a roofie in our gas station sushi. We black out and wake up in a sewer surrounded by fish.

Horny fish. You know what that means. Fish orgy. The stench draws in a bear. What do we do? We're gonna fight it. Bear fight. Bare handed. Bare, naked? Oh, yes please. We befriend the bear after we beat it in a brawl and ride it into a Chuck E. Cheese. Dance Dance Revolution. Revolution? Overthrow the government? Uh, I think so. Next thing you know, I'm reincarnated as Jesus Christ. Then I turn into a jet, fly into the sun, black out again, wake up, do a bump, white out, which I didn't even know you could do. Then I smoked a joint, greened out. Then I turn into the sun. Uh oh! Looks like the meth is kicking in. aklfhaofhasfahfakh AAAAAAAAA afahfioahflkf AAAAA

Why are bald eagles bald? Because you're bald!

Why are Americans so bad at chess? Because they already lost two towers.