Ares jokes
My hemorrhoids are so bad, I’ve had toilet bowls that looked like abortions.
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a third of a beer. The bartender bellows, "Get the hell out of here, are you trying to ruin me?"
These jokes are darker than the list of victims dead from cops.
These orphan jokes are getting old. I mean, seriously, haven't you got something better to tell?
Your lips are so big, it turns the Grand Canyon sideways.
Memes
Why are there only 363 days for orphans?
Because they don't have Mothers' and Fathers' Day.
Why are New Yorkers so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers!
How do you put "blonde" and "duh" in the same sentence? Just say, "Blondes are dumb."
Who are cats going to vote for in November? Hillary Kitten.
What is the difference between a blonde and a mosquito?
Only one of them stops sucking after you slap it.
Ha, orphans are soooooo funny. I mean, they have many family stories. Oh wait...
Wow, these cow jokes are moo-amazing!
Two hotdogs are walking across the street. One is walking slow. What does the 2nd one say?
"Ketchup!"
People tell me to be nice to orphans, so I say, "What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?"
Did you know victims of 9/11 are fast readers?
They went down 100 stories in 4 seconds.
Who comes when an orphan gets married? They are allowed back in family restaurants, but when I go in alone, I'm not allowed. I have some parents, for God's sake!
Hi, I'm Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are hee/hee.
What are the similarities between apples and emos?
They both hang from trees.
Why are orphans and bananas so much alike? Because they both get split.
Why are Americans bad at chess?
Because they lost two towers.