Ares jokes
Who are the fastest readers in the world? New Yorkers. They went through 110 stories in under 10 seconds.
The 1645 service has been cancelled and has been replaced by a replacement bus service.
EasyJet would like to apologise to all of those who are travelling to Greece.
Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"
Friend B: "I was until last night."
Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"
Friend B: "Your sister."
Friend A: "I don't have a sister."
Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."
You are annoying lolllllllll.
A guy entered a library and wanted to get some books to read. He was searching across the books, and the librarian asked him,
Librarian: What are you looking for?
Man: I am looking for a book!
Librarian: Which book?
Man: Facebook.
Memes
Mary has a house near a forest. She lives with her bro, and she once asked, "How many trees are there?" Her bro said: "I don't know." She said: "Tree."
Why can’t orphans eat a big bag of chips?
They are family sized.
My jokes are pretty "bone-arifick," if I say so myself. Hehhehe... Get it?
You are a joke.
Guys, there is no need to worry about anti-vaxxers. The more there are, the less there are.
"Don't sneeze!"
Every time I was in the bathroom with my friends, I would always tell them, "Don't sneeze!" and when I did, they just laughed so hard. And when we sneezed, we laughed even harder.
Also,
"It dangles and swung!"
Language art quizzes are the best.
You are quite [something].
What's the funniest thing about being ringside at a UFC fight?
When you look around and all of the spectators are wearing white gowns and fuzzy socks, and you realize you aren't at a UFC event, you're watching your fellow patients fight to the death at a psychiatric facility.
A woman in labor suddenly shouted, "Shouldn't! Wouldn't! Couldn't! Didn't! Can't!"
"Don't worry," said the doc. "Those are just contractions."
Who are you to believe if you don't believe in unicorns?
Idiot 1: Why are cows good in math?
Idiot 2: I don't know why.
Idiot 1: Because they have built-in cowculators!
Who are voting for this election? I'm voting for Tricity, so vote for Tricity. Electricity!
3.14% of sailors are pirates.
When are you from Iowa? You know!!! 🚗
When are you from Kansas? You know!!! 🐌