Ares jokes

Reverend Mother walks into the convent and announces:

"Sisters, our carrots have been delivered!"

Nuns exclaim: "Hurray! Carrots!"

Reverend Mother: "They are grated carrots, though."

Nuns: "Ugh! No, thank you then..."

Me when people ask how old my girlfriends are:

"There's 2, there're 4, there're 6, there're 8."

Why are there no Africans on cruise ships from Africa to America?

Once again, they don't fall for the trick!

Why are orphans good at dodge ball?

Because no one misses them.

Food makers are proudly presenting human flesh-made foods. Donate your useless friends and family to us because we're saving lives.

T and C apply. This is only in the best shops in your town, or down the road, or in your country. 1 like = 1 family member donated 'cause we're saving lives😎😎

Why are life and a penis alike?

Women make both of them hard.

Tyler is ugly.

If you are called Tyler, change your name.

So things are just too tiring to sort out... like which adoption center you should send your son to?

Mom, where are we going?

To your grandma's funeral.

Yeah, 'cause I 360 no-scoped that b*tch in the face.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I was born pretty, what happened to you?

Why are Americans so bad at class royals?

Because they already lost 2 towers.

What do you call a Japanese person when their knees are cured?

"Happynese" (happy knees).

You are so ugly when your mum dropped you off at school, she got fined for littering.

You ever look back at your ex and are like, "Wow! What was I thinking?"

Then I start to think I was the problem :(

Just kidding, fuck that asshole!

Why are Americans so good at solving Rubik's Cubes?

Because they're good at separating colors.

For some reason a group of emo kids are following me because I gave them a Happy Meal.

Your hairline is pushed back; we can see what you are thinking of.

Yo mama is so lazy that the only letters she knows are "NO".

You are so white even Nippon Paint tried to sign you!

A gay couple and a lesbian couple are going on a cruise. Who gets there first?

Obviously, the lesbian couple; they got their lickety-split. The gay couple was still packing their shit.