Are you enjoying my yolks. I bet there making you crack up. If not, I better scrammble
Random person: "Just turn the page and start over." Me: "I'm not sure if you're telling me to be gay or uhhhh die but both are good options."
If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? -- America.
What's the similarity between women and car parking spaces? The good ones are always taken, and sometimes when nobody's looking, you slip in the disabled one
What do pedophiles and a SpongeBob intro have in common?
Are you ready kids?
There are so many things going through my head. Sadly none of it is a 9mm.
Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?
Museum girl: Committing suicide.
Allan: What about Friday night?
Teacher: I used to be an orphan once.
Student: OOFT
Teacher: Who are we missing?
Student: Your parents
like this if you are in elementary, middle school, or high school
Me-are you an orphan? Boy-yeah, what gave me away? Me-....ur parents
Friend: "You are so ugly." Me: "You can't be talking, you give Freddy Krueger nightmares."
I seriously don't get why people in Alabama are angered that Mexican immigrants are taking their jobs. I mean, it's not like they are preventing your son from giving you a big fat blow job.
My arms are just a diffrent texture pack compared to my body.
Are you a school? Because I want to shoot a bunch of kids in you.
Money and my mom are kinda the same thing they come and leave easlily
No matter how kind you are, German children are kinder.
Like if you think rape jokes are funny
Why do people not play uno with Mexicans... because they are always stealing the green cards
why are Japanese peoples eyes so squinted.
Do you know how bright an atomic bomb is..
So I had an orphan friend, and he asked me, "How's your girlfriend?" I said, "I don't have one." He said, "I know, I just wanted to remind you." Then I asked, "How are your parents?" After that, I never saw him again.
