Three men are on a boat. They have four cigarettes, but nothing to light them with. So they throw a cigarette overboard and the whole boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
I started a company selling land mines that look like prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
emo jokes are not funny, so cut it out
Why shouldn't you tell a secret in a corn field? Because they are full of ears! Now that was a corny joke. And yes, it was rather a-maize-ing
Pedophiles are fucking immature assholes
A priest and a rabbi are walking down the street and they come to a kid playing in a sandbox. The priest says, "Hey, you wanna go screw that kid?"
To which the rabbi replies, "Out of what?
Roses are red Violets are blue Once I'n done choking you You will be too.
a girl and her brother are walking in their garden POV:Brother. Sister:Why are you cutting those flowers?
Brother; because their beautiful!
Sister:I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren't.
Brother:......
The cops are still searching for my wife's killer. Luckily I already fled the country.
Friends are like trees, they fall over if you hit them with an ax.
What does Micheal Jackson and maths have in common they are both hard for kids
The people in Florida yelling "White Power!" is amusing, because when they get permanent sunburn from the Florida sun, they are not white anymore.
Why are Americans so shocked when it comes to Mexican drug cartels?
Because none of the drug lords (or their associates, for that matter) have shot up a school.
Why are gay ppl so bad at math? Because they cant multiply.
Why cant dwarf be depressed?
Because they are compressed
Joe Biden’s speeches are so motivational. In fact, I have been stuck at home these past few weeks, and his well articulated words were enough for me to muster up the courage to jump off of a 10 story building.
Welcome onboard Sexist Airlines. Everyone please fasten your seatbelts now as we are switching to a female pilot.
Roses are red, violets are black, I traded my son for 10 big macs
why are dolphins so smart? Because within three hours they can train a human to stand at the edge of the pool and feed them fish!
Them: You want some Lucky Harms?
Me: What are Lucky Harms?
Them: They're Lucky charms, but instead of being magically delicious, they're magically malicious.
