Ares jokes

Orphan: Am going to see my mom in the kitchen because they are always in there.

Orphan: Realizes.

Michael Jackson is happy when there are twenty-eight-year-olds.

A man runs into a church and shouts, "Are there any dwarf nuns in the monastery?" The Pope said no, causing the man to say to his friend, "I told you you fucked a penguin!"

A leaf and an emo are both falling from a tree.

Which one hits the ground first?

The leaf, the emo got caught by a rope.

Friends are like bananas. If you peel their skin off and eat them, they die.

If Jesus told you to trust everyone, that must be why there are a lot of kidnappings.

Roses are red.

Violets are blue.

I saw a monkey yesterday, and thought it was you.

What do you do when you're bored?

I beat up orphans.

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Are you a banana...

because I find you a-peeling!

What do you do when you're sad? Kick an orphan!

What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?

Why are wives also called a housekeeper?

Because after the divorce, they keep the house.

This one is for Gwen, I'm sorry people are so mean to you.

All the big cats gathered for a game of poker. Why did the tiger lose?

Because one of his opponents kept on lion. Another had a puma-nent poker face. But the real problem was the cheetah.

America saying they are more stupid. Russia saying they are more stupid = the stupidest war.

Genie: What are your 3 wishes?

Me: Make every word 4 letters long.

Geni: Wish Gran.

Me: Make every word start with "br".

Genie: Brsh Bran.

Me: Bree: brke brer brrd brnd brth "uh".

Bruh: Bruh bruh.

Bruh: Bruh bruh bruh.

Bruh: Bruh bruh.

When I went to heaven, I saw Steven Hawking standing there. I asked why he isn’t in heaven yet. He said there are stairs.

Why can you bully orphans?

What are they gonna do, go tell their parents?

Junkyard dogs may be mean, but the meanest dogs are the ones guarding concentration camps.

Why are you so bonely, my friend? I am at least glad that you are not boneless.

Roses are red, violets are blue, When I see you, I play with my poo.

I'll never forget my mother's last words: "What are you doing with that sledgehammer?"