Ares jokes
The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies.
They’re always so twisted!
Why are gay men so rude? Because they're fucking assholes.
Why are gay guys so rude?
Because they’re fucking assholes.
Okay, so turns out the toasters are not waterproof...
Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
Why should you fear white people in prison instead of the blacks?
Because you know that whites are in for actually committing something.
Did you know that most women are left-handed?
That’s because the majority of them don’t know what to do with rights.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say, "I'm a real boy."
Roses are red, violets are blue, when The Oh Hellos saw you they said "Shoo!"
BREAKING NEWS
All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.
The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.
Why do orphans go to church?
Not because they are religious, because they want someone to call father.
Why are Mexican families so big?
They don’t know how to put a condom on.
Are you Hiroshima? Because I want to drop my bomb inside you.
What does the SpongeBob intro and a pedophile have in common?
"Are you ready kids?"
Are you angry?
Go bully an orphan!
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
As an older brother, I always gave my little sister advice. I always said to do your best and never quit. So one day I went to her room. I see my sister giving married men blow jobs.
I ask what are you doing? The married men said she is giving us blow jobs because our wives don't do it. My sister said you told me to do your best, and my best is to suck them dry. As a brother, I couldn't be more prouder.
As a straight son, one day I asked my mom, "Have you ever quit something that you did before?" My mom said, "No, I never quit anything." So I asked my when you give a blow job you ever spit, then my mom said, "What did I say? Quitters are for spitters."
Let's play twin towers, your thighs are the towers and my penis is the plane, coming in between.
Toast is like parents.
If they are both black, you have nothing to eat.