Ares jokes
Your mum so fat that when she sat down she said, "Why are there so many people under me?"
What do a 14-year-old pregnant girl and the child inside her have in common?
Both are thinking, “Oh no! My mom’s gonna kill me!”
Grandma: Most people your age have a family and are married. Why aren’t you?
Grandchild: Most your age are dead. Why aren’t you?
Why are Americans so bad at Clash Royale?
They already lost two towers.
There are too many suicidal people in this world. I’m going to make sure there is at least one less.
Man: Doctor, where are you taking me?
Doctor: To the morgue.
Man: But I’m not dead yet.
Doctor: Are we there yet?
Me: *posts random joke about a duck*
That one guy in the comment section for no reason: "Shut the f*uck up you dumb b*tch you are a piece of sh*t you..."
That other guy in the comment section: "That’s actually offensive to ducks."
Bro it’s a joke...
Jokes about ISIS are all about the execution.
Your mom is so fat that she only knows three letters, which are "KFC."
The most corrupt CEOs are those of the pretzel companies.
They’re always so twisted!
Why are gay men so rude? Because they're fucking assholes.
Why are gay guys so rude?
Because they’re fucking assholes.
Okay, so turns out the toasters are not waterproof...
Crying babies are like parties. No matter how many times you try to end it, it keeps going.
Why should you fear white people in prison instead of the blacks?
Because you know that whites are in for actually committing something.
Did you know that most women are left-handed?
That’s because the majority of them don’t know what to do with rights.
What do trans men and Pinocchio have in common?
Both are lying when they say, "I'm a real boy."
Roses are red, violets are blue, when The Oh Hellos saw you they said "Shoo!"
BREAKING NEWS
All the desert regions in the world are now considered lush rainforests. They house many different species of life and have significantly helped with the constant carbon dioxide emissions.
The reason why is because... Your texts are so dry.
How are women like swimming pools?
They cost a great deal of money to maintain considering the time you spend inside.