Ares jokes
I’ll never forget my Granddad’s last words to me just before he died.
“Are you still holding the ladder?”
In the average room, there are about 2,894,638 items that Chuck Norris can use to kill you, including the room itself.
There are 30 cows in a field, 28 chickens. How many didn't?
A - 10
They said I couldn't drive.
Now they know I can't cause they are all dead.
Roses are red, shit is brown, Get that dick out my ass so we can go to town.
When a family friend passed away, my granddaughter took her three-year-old son to visit the widow. As they approached the front door, she whispered to the boy, “Make sure to tell her how sorry you are.”
He whispered back, “Why? I didn’t kill him.”
I love it when candy canes are in mint condition.
Evan, this is Mya, and your mom told me you were adopted, so we are done. Bye, don’t talk to me.
There are 6 kinds of vitamins. Wanna know how the 6th vitamin was made? Just ask the Ku Klux Klan, they will tell you.
Our teacher said for two kids to stare at a wall for no reason, so I said, "Hey wall, that ass flat like a pancake from McDonald's."
Are you a Samsung Galaxy Note 7? Because I want to explode in you!
Evan, me and your mom are done with you.
I tell short people to reach for the stars.
They are always a bit short of reach.
Why did the turtle cross the road?
We don't know yet.
OOF dislike plz I have no life XD.
All of these jokes are DED sub to pewdipie.
All of the jokes are just abuse.
How do make an adult cry?
Stab him 10000 times until the floors are red with human blood.
Girls are like rocks, the flat ones get skipped.
Three scientists are doing an experiment. They are trying to find out what happens when you stick a cork in an elephant's ass.
In the lab, they each look at each other and decide that they should hire a monkey to do it. The monkey sticks the cork up the elephant's ass, and the scientists wait three weeks.
The monkey pulls out the cork, and all three scientists go back and discuss what they saw.
The first one, standing one mile away, says all he could see was a wave of brown, then it all went black. The second, standing two miles away, said the same. The third, who was standing three miles away, said all he could see was the other two get consumed by a massive cloud of brown.
Dark jokes are like kids with cancer, They never get old.
I was walking, and I saw an orphan, and I said, "Where are your parents?"