Ares jokes

Why do people watch hentai?

Because they are as fake as pornstars are.

Dad: Son, you're adopted.

Son: Oh wow, I wonder who my real parents are.

Dad: We are your real parents. Your adopted parents are coming to pick you up.

Friend A: "Why are you still a virgin, bro?"

Friend B: "I was until last night."

Friend A: "Nah, nah, who with?"

Friend B: "Your sister."

Friend A: "I don't have a sister."

Friend B: "Just wait 9 months, you'll see."

Roses are red. Violets are blue. We're gonna make love because I'm stronger than you.

Rape jokes are not funny.

Look at my name by the way😁.

Mom told me drugs are my enemies.

Jesus said to like your enemies.

Yay, I can like drugs then!

All the jokes on this website are terrarible.

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

People are fighting in a war, and a man gets hit four times in the arm and says, "'Tis but a scratch!"

And the other guy, looking at him in shock, says, "A scratch? Your arm is off your body!"

I remember my grandad's last words: "Are you still holding the ladder?"

There were four people in a helicopter: Trump, a first-grade kid, a schoolteacher, and the Chinese leader.

There were only three parachutes. The Chinese leader takes one and jumps. The schoolteacher says she has to teach, so she jumps. Trump and the first-grader are left. Trump says, "I've lived my life; you take the last one." So the kid puts on his backpack and jumps. Trump makes it out safe.

Rocks are used too much; people take 'em for granite.

What do you call an idiot who walks on the road when cars are coming?

Fresh roadkill.

At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth."

Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out. Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father."

Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."

Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"

Roses are red, violets are blue, when I saw you I thought of the zoo and monkeys too!

I wanna date you.

Said mom, dad said no, you are a horrid, f*cking d*ck.

How do you try to shout at someone on the bottom of the ground?

"Hey, sir! Are you dead?"

Student: There are 505 rocks in a car. If 8 fall out, how many are left?

Teacher: There will be 497 rocks left.

Student: Ok!!

Student: How do you put an alligator in a closet?

Teacher: You can't, it won't fit.

Student: No!! Just open the door, put the alligator in, then close the door.

Teacher: Ohhh, now I get it.

Why are Amoebas so bad at math?

Because, when they need to multiply, they divide.

Victims of 9/11 are the fastest readers. They went through 94 stories in seconds.