Ares jokes
There are 2 dads and 2 sons. They all caught a fish.
Why did they only come home with 3 fish?
(Answer)
There were a grand-dad, dad, and son.
If you don't get it, then it means grand father is the dad to the dad (1 dad). Dad is the dad for the son and a son for the grandfather. Get it?
You're walking alone on a street when a person slaps you with a silk glove and runs away. As you watch them run, 2 cops are chasing them.
So, on one partly cloudy night, there was a boy and his dad gazing up at the sky.
Dad: Aren't the stars just wonderful?
Boy: I'm not sure, from my angle, all I see are clouds.
Dad: Well, come over here and take a look.
Boy: Damn, the clouds always move when I get to the right spot!
Dad: Well then, I guess I will have to make you see them everywhere you look then.
Then the Dad shook and spun the boy around till he said...
NOW I'M SEEING STARS!!!
I saw a kid crying today and asked them, "Where are your parents?"
God, I love working at an orphanage!
What are the similarities between an orphan and a newborn plant?
Both their parents were separated.
Kid: I want to be like Batman.
Genie: I can make arrangements. The kid comes home, both of his parents are dead.
Genie: I told you.
Kid: .............................................
Your mama so fat, Jupiter is smaller than her.
A girl walked into a job interview. The interviewer said, "You are what we are looking for, but I need to test your skills." He hands her a pen. He said, "Sell me this pen." She puts it between her boobs.
"Hey, you! Why are you so serious?"
Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.
These ain't jokes. These are just sad truths.
Why do goalkeepers have so much money in the bank?
Because they are really good at saving.
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school.
At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters
'PNEIS'
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.
Jokes are like food, not everyone has it.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine?
Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
What's the difference between a BMW and a porcupine? Unlike the porcupine, the pricks are on the inside.
You know what you could use? An orphan as a punching bag.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
My mom told me that drugs are my enemies... But Jesus said to love my enemies.
Why do people in a wheelchair make bad jokes? Because they are bad at stand-up.
My mom told me to get dressed, and I said, "For what? Are we going to the rodeo?"