Ares jokes
Kid with Cancer: "When I get older, I want to be a movie star or a singer."
Nurse: *Laughs*
Kid: "Why are you laughing?"
Nurse: "When I get OLDER."
Proceeds to laugh.
I punched an orphan, and he told me to leave him alone. I said, "What are you gonna do, tell your parents?"
A man dies and goes to Heaven. He sees a bunch of clocks and asks Jesus what they are for. He replied they are gauges, and that they move when people lie. He said that Mother Teresa's has moved twice, Abraham Lincoln's once, and George Washington's never.
The man asks to see the current president's, and Jesus just laughs and says that Joe Biden's is the one keeping the hurricanes to speed.
This is not a joke, it's a warning!
You guys are stupid. I am an orphan, and you better stop doing these. BTW, if you are an orphan, put it in the comments and say that it's not funny!
Adam and Eve were sitting on the beach one day, and Eve says to Adam, "Let's go for a swim." Adam replies, "I'm not in the mood."
She says, "Okay, I will go by myself." She puts her toes in the water and splashes around and says, "The water is beautiful, come in!" Adam replies, "Na, still not in the mood."
Eve wades into the water until she gets to her waist. Adam jumps up and yells at Eve standing waist deep and says, "Oh no, now all the fish are gonna smell like that!"
"Gwen, are you still there?"
When you are going back to where you live from a place that is a time zone behind where you live:
"Looks like I am going back to the future!"
You are stupid!
Nana
What is 9 + 10?
21
You stupid!
Friends are like penguins: if you stab them, they die. 😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈
JFK: Are you a bullet? Because I can't get you out of my head.
Hey Abygail ;) can we talk? I just wanna say that you prob are sexy :)
If you think about it, then adoption is the last choice for getting a child, so those who are adopted were the last choice.
How many letters are in the English Alphabet?
Twenty-two. ET went home, P ran down his leg, and he took ME with him.
Paddy and Murphy are walking down the street when all of a sudden, Paddy falls down a manhole. Murphy shouts down, "Paddy, is it dark down there?"
Paddy shouts up, "Dunno Murphy, I crnt see a fecking thing!"
Orphans and punching bags are almost the same.
They both get hit, but a punching bag is still wanted.
Kids are so ungrateful sometimes. I bought a wheelchair for my son. Did he say thank you? Nope! That mtf just sat in his wheelchair the whole time crying the whole day. 😐
What do your underwear and the Starship Enterprise have in common?
They are both concerned about “Klingons near your anus”.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
Saying I'm sorry and I apologize are basically the same thing... except at a funeral.
Yo mama's feet are so fat, she had to wear a sock on each toe.